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The Jehoshua Novels


Whiners In The News

I was going to write about something else, but the sun got in my eyes, my shoe lace was untied and I’m not a popular enough blogger because other blogs are hogging all the readers.
 
So let’s talk about whining:
 
1) Mitt Romney complains that Barack Obama, President of the United States, used his office to award voting groups “gifts”.

“The Obama campaign was following the old playbook of giving a lot of stuff to groups that they hoped they could get to vote for them and be motivated to go out to the polls, specifically the African American community, the Hispanic community and young people,” Romney told hundreds of donors during a telephone town hall Wednesday. “In each case they were very generous in what they gave to those groups.”

Apparently, dogs bite men as well.
 
Look, when even a loser like Pikush Jindal disagrees with your analysis, Mitt, it’s time to take a serious look in the mirror and figure out if you’ve been living your life anywhere near reality.
 
Presidents hand out favors. Yes. So do candidates, in the form of promises. I’m sure you made plenty to the 1%ers who you stood in front of mocking the vast majority of Americans, including Bain Capital, who take government largesse.
 
You lost because, frankly, you suck at this. One term as governor and somehow you feel qualified to run the nation? You’ve never had to get out there and listen to people. Not surprisingly, you’ve run for President and you still haven’t been out there, talking to people, except for the crowds that your cronies have forced into showing up, and the planted questions from operatives.
 
Let me know when you’re ready to visit Harlem and face a crowd in the basement of an inner city schools and lay out a plan for education, then we can start to talk about qualifications.
 
2) Guy Fieri objects to a review of his restaurant.
 
It’s possible you missed the review in the New York Times of Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant. If you did, go read it. I can wait.
 
*whistling softly*
 
Back? Pretty harsh, huh? It’s been called one the worst reviews the Times has ever published on anything: plays, books, restaurants, art exhibitions. The reviewer admits to having eaten there with groups over the span of four meals and hated nearly everything he tasted.
 
By the way, the Times was kind, by comparison.
 
Does Fieri say “You’re the Times food critic. I maybe ought to take notes.”
 
Lemme sum up his response thusly:
 
 
Literally. Also, that the reviewer was used to reviewing joints with “teh classy”.
 
The question has to be asked, “If you aren’t ready on day one, what’s the point in opening?”
 
It seems pretty clear that the answer to that is he wanted the restaurant open in time for the holiday tourism season, figuring that he could beta test his menu to paying customers and no one would really notice. Even if he got a bad review, it couldn’t be so bad that anyone coming into town would notice, and the Fieri name would sell the rest. He could deal with Quality Control issues after the fact.
 
Note to any readers who are coming to New York: rather than eat the slop that’s served on the Deuce by rip-off artists, try Virgil’s for real American food. It’s on 43rd Street, just off Broadway, and it’s one place that real New Yorkers go for meat.
 
And no “donkey sauce.” Ever.

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