Juan Cole | March 14

Informed Comment - Item: US petroleum company Halliburton, which received billions of dollars in no-bid contracts from the Bush administration for work in Iraq, is moving its corporate headquarters to Dubai.

In other news, Vice President Dick Cheney announced Wednesday that he would be moving the Vice President's offices to Dubai, as well. "I'm under way too much scrutiny to risk living in the Naval Observatory much longer," he told reporters at a press conference held in the Ski Dubai Indoor Resort. "Besides, most of my marching orders come from Halliburton, Exxon Mobil, and the local oil sheikhs, and think how much I'll save on long distance calls."

I know, I know, you didn't mean to hate freedom. You realize the error of your ways so here you are saying, Joaquin, how do I become a true American Patriot? You have come to the right place, my friend, because you know I used hate freedom too. Also, I used to hate babies, marriage and life too and I wanted to pay as much of my hard earned money as taxes as I possibly could. Yes, I was a tax and spend liberal but now I am a patriot and you too can give up your liberalness; all you need is a good dose of patriotism.

First of all, ask not what your country can do for you ask what you can do for your country. For example, Haliburton ask themselves that same question every day and that is why they are going to accept only dollars in payment for service at their new headquarters in Dubai. How patriotic is that? Would you accept only dollars if you moved to Dubai? No, you wouldn't and you are obviously not as patriotic as Haliburton and that is why you've come to me. See liberals love to pay taxes, tax and spend, that's what they are all about. Haliburton is patriotic and patriots don't pay taxes so Haliburton moved to Dubai where they won't pay any taxes! Now a lot of people are asking why did Haliburton move to Dubai? Are they just being patrotic? The answer is yes and you have to realize that Haliburton makes money from servicing American wars, i.e., their earnings come from U.S. taxpayers. Now if Haliburton were a taxpayer then they would just be paying themselves! It makes no sense! You see why Haliburton had to move?

By Matt Spetalnick

CHIRIJUYU, Guatemala (Reuters) - President George W. Bush helped Guatemalan small farmers load crates of lettuce onto a truck on Monday to demonstrate the benefits of free trade in Latin America, where Washington's power is being questioned by leftist leaders.

Wearing a multi-colored traditional jacket, Bush lent a hand at the Labradores Mayas Packing Station cooperative begun by an indigenous farmer in the town of Chirijuyu.

"Free trade is important ... it's a gateway. It creates jobs in America and it creates jobs here," he told the farmers, who export vegetables to Wal-Mart stores in Central America.

. . . watch this and tell me if you can figure it out. I can't.

. . . gmail, google words search combo gave me this link? Bizarre.

This is what a call to the HelpDesk used to look like.

Some things don't change.

. . . this ought to keep you occupied until I can get some posts up.

Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

ZURICH, Switzerland (AP) -- What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

hattip: Anne

Survey proves Wingers all think alike - no original thought found in entire wing-o-sphere!

This is an email from a buddy of mine who lives in London. Enjoy it, as it's not meant to be taken literally. It's a joke.

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the

British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation

released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98:

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a

collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to

avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to

the South to avoid a collision.

More after the jump

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to
other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a
transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were
both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the
upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into
the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend

. . . Cliff Schecter went on the Paula Zahn Show last week. He rocked the house. You can see the video here.

A pound of Oxycontin?

Oh my!

. . . just awarded Al Gore's Oscar to President Bush.

I know many of you don't care for Matt Taibbi's abrasive writing style, but sometimes his articles just have to be read:

On the same day that Britney was shaving her head, a guy I know who works in the office of Senator Bernie Sanders sent me an email. He was trying very hard to get news organizations interested in some research his office had done about George Bush's proposed 2008 budget, which was unveiled two weeks ago and received relatively little press, mainly because of the controversy over the Iraq war resolution. All the same, the Bush budget is an amazing document. It would be hard to imagine a document that more clearly articulates the priorities of our current political elite.

Read it all, but be careful you're not drinking in front of a computer screen while you do so.

Our priorities are so out of whack it's pathetic.

Graphic of how snain forms

I’ve never driven in snain. There have to be some Agonists that live in Toronto that did. Please recount your experience of driving in snain. How is snain different from sneet? (sleeet and snow) My guess is the snow does not completely evaporate into water and freeze on the windshield as it falls? Is that an accurate presumption on my part?

I wonder what other concoctions Global Warming has dreamed up that will occur in Northern latitudes? Will Canada experience hurricanes instead of tornados? Isn't the difference between hurricanes and tornados is that hurricanes form somewhat differently and do not compress into violent funnel formations? I understand US southern states experience both...most likely on a more frequent and intense basis.

. . . so insert the obligatory George W. Bush joke here:

Chimpanzee behavior is widely believed to offer a window on early human behavior, and many researchers have hoped that the animals -- which are humans' closest genetic cousins -- might reveal something about the earliest use of wooden tools. The discovery that some chimps today make wooden weapons supports the idea that early humans did too -- perhaps as much as 5 million years ago -- Stanford said.

Here's the kicker:

"Females are the teachers," Zihlman said, noting that juvenile chimps in Senegal were repeatedly seen watching their mothers make and hunt with spears.

What does that say about Barbara Bush?

. . . of Glenn Reynolds continues.

( ~click on photo for full size~)

I lived in Korea for a year, but that was in 1994-95. 12 years ago? Wow, hard to believe it's been that long. I can only imagine what my students look like today, especially the young ones.

What's even more strange is that I loved kimchi and yesterday was the first time I ever made it.

Go figure. Looks kinda hot, yeah?

You know, a lot has changed since I graduated. The last time I wrote a cover letter for a job was at least 12 years ago. Back then I was told to keep it short and sweet. Stick to the point. Make the point and then wrap it up. One longish paragraph was ideal, two max.

And a statement of purpose? What's that? No one ever had me write, or requested a statement of purpose. Why? Your resume indicated whether you were qualified for the job or not, why elaborate? Clearly things have changed.

When I graduated what a future employer--or a place of internship--wanted was two letters of recommendation, back then known as 'references,' a resume and a cover letter.

Now they want letters of recommendation, a statement of purpose, which is like a 500 word essay about how great you are, without saying 'look, I'm great, aren't I!'

Statements of purpose are also an opportunity for the young twenty-something in question to discuss how much their life experiences have shaped and influenced them.

Excuse me? Here's how my statement of purpose would have read, "Through my excessive drinking and obsessive focus on human anatomy (the female form, that is) I acquired the essential skill of observation (watching out for the cops). I also learned to avoid conflict (the hard way, pun intended) and how to engage in critical, but mutually beneficial negotiations (with the opposite sex, of course). And in the rare event I was sober I learned a lot of history, historical dates, how to read a map and try to think through a problem. I learned a little philosophy and poetry as well. The poetry was to impress the chicks."

Please.

I guess all these new requirements are the result of a crappy job market for new graduates. At the very least it prepares them for the inordinate amounts of paperwork they'll have to do once they enter corporate America--or worse, government bureaucracy.

Otherwise they go into sales.

This just in from the folks at I Miss Fafblog, Spot!:

Smoothly, swiftly Georgina's car spun past the leafy quiet of the sorghum farms on the pleasant road to the beach. Past marshland, old oilwells and sand dunes, to the Gulf. White tipped waves rolled in with a dull roar, the salt wind blew, gulls flapped overhead on strong gray wings.

She was thinking of a drive to another beach. The night she met him at his mother's house. She wished she had never gone to Mrs. Cheney's. Better never to have known him than to...suddenly a man walks across the road directly in front of her...Oh noooo...blackness rolls over her...

The two of them are rushed to the hospital, and both are admitted. The man is badly injured. They are put on the same floor in rooms next to each other.

more after the jump

On amphibian politics and the fine hats that we wear.

It was a small lie that finally and forever silenced the old mill pond. It seemed harmless at first but then I am getting ahead of myself. To understand how the lie ended the rein of amphibian cacaphony at one pond, one has to understand amphibian head wear. Yes, I am speaking of the hats that frogs wear.

Its all about who will rule the shore, which will make most of the tadpoles, and of course those that will get the juiciest bugs. The one who decides all of this must wear an appealing hat and win a kind of beauty contest. It is not just how the hat looks but the perception of what a hat can do; because, you see, amphibian hats can have almost magical properties, or so the frogs would have each other believe. There are hats that make a croak sound sexier, hats that make flies taste better and so on. It is the custom to talk up one’s hat; make it seem better than it is; everyone does it, bull frogs and reed frogs alike. Even the toads stretch the truth about their hats.

From Agonist Reader OB:

Here in the US, you give me $1500.00 bucks, a few welding robs, scrap iron, a sort of wheel and in less than a week I fab you a gismo to make 50 a day out of copper for the shape charge. I could even make one out of a wood press and an hammer. Can someone ask how hard was it to manufacture HUBCAPS 60 years ago?

Passed along without comment, except a bold smirk.

. . . a little hypocrisy?

After Fafblog offed itself about a year ago, really well-written and genuinely funny, "out there" humor has been pretty sparse...OK, make that "virtually extinct." But a dedicated group of readers, prolific and as equally talented as Fafnir & Co. have taken up the poison pen and are battling mightily to keep a measure of humor on line that doesn't resemble Garfield on a bad day: "I Miss Fafblog, Spot!"

Some people (like me) like to take their comic strips apart, dissecting, parsing and squeezing the entrails for the last drop of meaning, long after the initial grin is over. If you're one of us, stumble over and visit The Comics Curmudgeon and rediscover what nuance is.