... examining the King James translation of the Bible for coded messages with letters spaced at equal intervals in the code turns up such messages as "get lost," "go to hell," "you loser" and "I hate you."

Warning: The link above leads to a Republican propaganda newspaper called WSJ.

Many of you, I have a feeling, will like this one:

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This one is for our Canadian friends.

Oh yeah, and if that wasn't bad enough, those are cases of brandy and vodka!
Thankfully, the driver wasn't hurt (except maybe for the probable job loss thing). That's him at the e

Many suggest the US CIA and Indian Intelligent services have created a "fifth column" of specially trained anti insurgent forces composed of BEARS, in an effort to control the influx of militants. I would suspect an impending "anti bear fatwa" being proclaimed shortly.

Bear kills militants in Kashmir

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8339549.stm

Graham Keeley & Richard Owen | Madrid / Rome | October 31

The Times - When Victoria Romero, 6, dressed up as a witch for a Hallowe’en party this week she could hardly have imagined that she was provoking the wrath of God by attending a celebration akin to a Black Mass — at least in the eyes of the Vatican and the Roman Catholic Church in Spain.

Wearing skeleton suits, dressing up as vampires, witches or goblins or slapping on fake blood is not far removed from communing with the Devil, according to the country’s bishops.

However, the bishops, with Vatican backing, have reserved their venom for the millions of parents who allowed their children to celebrate this “pagan” festival.

Kabul | October 27

The Onion -
According to sources at the Pentagon, American quagmire-building efforts continued apace in Afghanistan this week, as the geographically rugged, politically unstable region remained ungovernable, death tolls continued to rise, and the grim military campaign persisted as hopelessly as ever.

In fact, many government officials now believe that the United States and its allies could be as little as six months away from their ultimate goal: the total quagmirification of Afghanistan.
"We've spent a lot of time and money fostering the turmoil and despair necessary to make this a sustaining quagmire, and we're not going to stop now," President Barack Obama said in a national address Monday night. "It won't be easy, but with enough tactical errors on the ground, shortsighted political strategies, and continued ignorance of our vast cultural differences, we could have a horrific, full-fledged quagmire by 2012." more

Unfortunately, all too true...

I've dealt with a few traders in my time. And one aspect I always enjoyed, being that I like language and words and whatnot, is the argot in which they speak. It's rude, impatient and very euphemistic. Here are some good examples:

Better Lucky than Smart – The only thing we have going for us.

Buyer Outside – Something sales traders say to force your hand when they get tired of watching you play stock market.

Clean up - If you believe that I have a bridge to show you.

CSA – Clusterf**k Service Alternative: When it’s easier for you client to just write a check rather than trade with your team of farm animals.

Discount Bid – Chinese trading fire drill. There’s a 1 in 10,000 chance you actually get a trade on at the price but it’s a good exercise for going through the motions and a great way to kill a few minutes and piss some people off.

Down a Touch – This thing just came off like a f**king prom dress.

Fair and Reasonable – Something the buy-side has no concept of.

Fast Money – Just means they’ve got money moving out the door quicker.

Fill or Kill – Respond this second or deal with the consequences of this extremely illiquid stock not trading and me miraculously catching a second buyer who wants to bid you for the exact same amount in about a half hour or so.

Find out who’s moving the stock - Pick a name out of a hat.

Floor Looks: The only way to be 100% wrong 100% of the time.

Good Guy – Doesn’t ask me any difficult questions.

Great Guy – Doesn’t ask me any difficult questions and gives me business.

Happy – “Happy to get involved”, “Happy to get you started” – Although coming across like Mr. Sunshine, It’s Wall Street’s way of reminding you that your sales trader is just a whore at heart and willing to take one in the keester if it gets him an order.

I have a call into my analyst – If it’s important, go get the info somewhere else.

Enjoy the rest at the link, here.

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Yes folks, now YOU can have the new Zim Zam Optimistic Vision Protector:

Zim Zam helmets are immune to pessimism and are even safer than burying your head in the sand. Worried about another financial disaster? Peak oil? Climate change? The war in Afghanistan? ... Your Zim Zam helmet filters out everything but optimism; Read the Wall Street Journal and never have to worry about seeing an article quoting Nouriel Roubini. Pessimism is filtered out through a digital HTLS system.

Do you have a love one who is anxious or down because they read the Internet? Zim Zam has the equipment you need to turn their lives around. You can even rescue followers of Michael Rupert by slapping one of our helmets over them. In a matter of days the most pessimistic person will invest their remaining 401K or IRA in high risk securities.

Don't worry be happy, wear a Zim Zam.

Support our troops stickers extra.

yes, but does it come with batteries? ~eds.

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This is quite funny, too. The real question is did Jesus require loyalty oaths too?

Now this is funny:

A collection of essays about former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, titled Going Rouge, will be released the same day as Palin's own much-awaited book, Going Rogue.

The essays, collected by The Nation senior editors Richard Kim and Betsy Reed and written by Max Blumenthal, Katha Pollitt, Matt Taibbi and several others, will examine "the nightmarish prospect of her continuing to dominate the nation's political scene."

And yes, the book is available for pre-order.

The real question is can they get placement in bookstores?

With my father-in-law's help this morning, we harvested 500 kilos of apples from our coveted Belle de Boskoop tree. Tomorrow we'll have our annual supply of pure, unmolested apple juice! I say unmolested as I've been thinking a lot about how corporations basically control our entire food chain and how our humble garden provides small yet meaningful spaces of resistance at the margins of our predatory economic system. Plus, I finally got around to reading Joe Bageant’s Dear Hunting with Jesus.

I'm too busy, and mostly too tired to log online these days, much less write blog posts. Don't know when I'll get around to the next one either but here goes...

The exhaustion stems mostly from the unbelievably tiresome task of being a “stay-at-home dad” with our 6 month old. When she does this, like today, I get a little work done. Walnuts, check. Potatoes up before the frost, check. Finish siding the house, check. Replant the blackberries, not yet. Prepare for next weeks lecture that's been on my calender for four months, oh hell no. So I'm "working" tonight.

more after the break

White House Deputy Press Secretary Bill Burton responded today to a question about a justice of the peace in Louisiana who refused to sign the marriage license for an interracial couple out of concern "for the children."

"I've seen the story and I've looked into this a little bit. And I found that, actually, the children of biracial couples can do pretty good," said Burton, who is biracial himself.

"So in terms of anything else, I just think it's something that they're dealing with locally."

In Katmandu prayers fly like flags, twirl like wheels, ring like bells. In the outskirts one of the holiest Buddhist sites in Nepal includes a monastery where monks spin an enormous floor to ceiling prayer cylinder 24 hours a day. The monks invite tourists to spin their own prayers. In Katmandu, prayer never ceases.

While in India, although a dead and bloated cow floated thirty feet away, I had washed my hands in the Ganges as a sign of unity with all seekers so I took a couple of turns with the prayer wheel. My wife did not wash her hands in the Ganges and would not touch me until I returned to the hotel and showered with enough soap, shampoo and hot water to qualify for the clique of the clean. She did not turn the prayer wheel.

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Not to be outdone, Kanye West has just taken off in his own air balloon. (via Twitter.)

Times Herald-Record | Adam Bosch | October 7

Hurley, NY — John Gill tucks a gray pumpkin under his arm and climbs to the top of a rusty ladder. He opens a hatch on the side of a steel pipe, drops the pumpkin inside and sprays it with magenta paint.

"So we can find it later," he says.

The hum of an air compressor stops and, for a moment, the Ulster County hillside is silent.

"You guys ready?"

h/t Lance Mannion: Nothing says autumn like a pumpkin flying into the air at 600 MPH

And watch out, there are more of them, gathering in Delaware in early November.

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Introducing the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Video after the jump!

In a surprise move, the administration today named Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder to head up the war effort in Afghanistan. The former advertising moghul and renaissance man will assume full control immediately. He held a rare press conference in Ashburn, Virginia.

“With my Redskins on the way to victory I can give something back to my country by leading it to victory, too. Managerial skills are all the same,” Snyder insisted. “If you can run a successful telemarketing business like I did, you can win a war – it’s not that hard. And I’m going to do to Afghanistan what I’ve done to the Redskins.” The boisterous sports aficionados fell silent. They knew he could do it.

John Walsh | Oct 5

The Independent - The first episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus was broadcast 40 years ago today. John Walsh dusts off the tapes to see if the old ones really are the best

It began with a shaggy, Ancient Mariner figure dragging himself along a seashore. Its jaunty credit sequence intertwined cartoon flowers and the photographed heads of Victorian grandees.

It introduced viewers to Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson and the Funniest Joke in the World – and it was the start of a five-year love affair between the British TV audience and a world of cosily surreal humour. Monty Python's Flying Circus first hit the airwaves 40 years ago, on 5 October, 1969.

The timing was awful: it went out late on a Sunday night, in a slot formerly filled by a religious programme. But rumours of its surreal brilliance spread along the schoolboy grapevine, catchphrases ("And now for something completely different," "Bloody Vikings") began to appear in newspapers, and mildly satirical visual gags, like the Upper-Class Twit of the Year Contest or the Ministry of Silly Walks, were greeted as though they represented mad anarchy.

What are your favorite clips?