I wish I had the weekend off

Just because I'm on a zombie kick (I watched Zombieland last night, Fun movie):

Never underestimate the zombie

Zombies are not mindless hunters. They are swifter and craftier than one might expect. A lone zombie can burst out of hiding and take a chunk out of you in the blink of an eye.

Never engage a zombie if you can avoid it

Though zombies are surprisingly quick in confined spaces, they are not swift runners. Engage the zombie only when you are trapped, and escape is not an option.

Focus on the task; keep fear out of your head

No one, no matter what their powers of description, can fully prepare you for your first encounter with a zombie. Their grotesque appearance and smell, along with the inhuman noises they emit, can induce a level of fear and terror that precludes rational response and causes one to freeze. You must not react to the zombie's appearance. Focus instead on delivering a combination of offensive and defensive strikes that will buy you enough time to escape.

More at the link. Thanks MC.

Imagine yourself to be the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers
all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

test answers after the jump :)

Rachel Donadio | Rome | November 16

NYT - The 200 women who answered a Rome modeling agency’s advertisement for tall, attractive party guests thought they would be attending an elegant soirée on Sunday. They were — only the host turned out to be the Libyan leader, Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi, and instead of hors d’oeuvres he offered them copies of the Koran and urged them to convert to Islam, the Italian news media reported Monday.

The women, all between the ages of 18 and 35, assembled in a Rome hotel before being screened by both metal detectors and the fashion police, who turned away anyone in a miniskirt or provocative clothing, according to Paola Lo Mele, a journalist for the ANSA news agency, who answered the modeling agency’s request and went undercover to the event. The women were each paid $75 to attend.

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I got nothing today so how about a flame fest? Been awhile, yeah? Y'all know the rules. 1. Everyone is fair game. 2. Take none of what is said seriously. 3. No porn, or links to two girls and a cup or other, erm, crap like that. Have fun!

Kate Sheppard | Charleston County, SC | November 11

Mother Jones - The Republican Party of Charleston County, S.C. on Monday voted to censure Sen. Lindsey Graham over his support for climate legislation and his willingness to work across party lines on the issue.

The Republican has often worked with Democrats in Congress, but Charleston County Chairwoman Lin Bennett says his work on climate legislation is the last straw.

The party resolution passed Monday says Graham has weakened the Republican brand. Bennett expects a similar resolution to be introduced at the state GOP convention next year.

Andy Greenberg | November 8

Forbes - The first real-world iPhone cyber-attack has shown its face. And that face belongs to 1980s pop star Rick Astley.

Over the weekend, researchers at cybersecurity firms Sophos and F-Secure detected the world's first active iPhone worm, spreading among Apple ( AAPL - news - people ) smart phone users in Australia. Only users who have "jailbroken" their phones--altered them to run applications not authorized by Apple--are vulnerable, and among those, only those who failed to change their default password for a secure shell (SSH) application that allows file transfers between smart phones.

The 18-foot-tall utensil was stealthily erected as a birthday present. Now the city is considering keeping it as a piece of street art.

Los Angeles Times, By Nicole Santa Cruz, November 7

Pasadena has a fork in the road. And it's 18 feet tall.

Where south St. John and south Pasadena avenues divide, there's a towering wooden silver fork in the traffic median. The utensil has a black steel skeleton and is rooted in 2 1/2 feet of concrete.

The art was originally intended as a surprise for Bob Stane of Altadena, who celebrated his 75th birthday Oct. 29. But Caltrans, which owns the median, and Pasadena, which maintains the land, are deciding whether to keep it up for a while as an impromptu piece of street art.

... examining the King James translation of the Bible for coded messages with letters spaced at equal intervals in the code turns up such messages as "get lost," "go to hell," "you loser" and "I hate you."

Warning: The link above leads to a Republican propaganda newspaper called WSJ.

Many of you, I have a feeling, will like this one:

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This one is for our Canadian friends.

Oh yeah, and if that wasn't bad enough, those are cases of brandy and vodka!
Thankfully, the driver wasn't hurt (except maybe for the probable job loss thing). That's him at the e

Many suggest the US CIA and Indian Intelligent services have created a "fifth column" of specially trained anti insurgent forces composed of BEARS, in an effort to control the influx of militants. I would suspect an impending "anti bear fatwa" being proclaimed shortly.

Bear kills militants in Kashmir

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8339549.stm

Graham Keeley & Richard Owen | Madrid / Rome | October 31

The Times - When Victoria Romero, 6, dressed up as a witch for a Hallowe’en party this week she could hardly have imagined that she was provoking the wrath of God by attending a celebration akin to a Black Mass — at least in the eyes of the Vatican and the Roman Catholic Church in Spain.

Wearing skeleton suits, dressing up as vampires, witches or goblins or slapping on fake blood is not far removed from communing with the Devil, according to the country’s bishops.

However, the bishops, with Vatican backing, have reserved their venom for the millions of parents who allowed their children to celebrate this “pagan” festival.

Kabul | October 27

The Onion -
According to sources at the Pentagon, American quagmire-building efforts continued apace in Afghanistan this week, as the geographically rugged, politically unstable region remained ungovernable, death tolls continued to rise, and the grim military campaign persisted as hopelessly as ever.

In fact, many government officials now believe that the United States and its allies could be as little as six months away from their ultimate goal: the total quagmirification of Afghanistan.
"We've spent a lot of time and money fostering the turmoil and despair necessary to make this a sustaining quagmire, and we're not going to stop now," President Barack Obama said in a national address Monday night. "It won't be easy, but with enough tactical errors on the ground, shortsighted political strategies, and continued ignorance of our vast cultural differences, we could have a horrific, full-fledged quagmire by 2012." more

Unfortunately, all too true...

I've dealt with a few traders in my time. And one aspect I always enjoyed, being that I like language and words and whatnot, is the argot in which they speak. It's rude, impatient and very euphemistic. Here are some good examples:

Better Lucky than Smart – The only thing we have going for us.

Buyer Outside – Something sales traders say to force your hand when they get tired of watching you play stock market.

Clean up - If you believe that I have a bridge to show you.

CSA – Clusterf**k Service Alternative: When it’s easier for you client to just write a check rather than trade with your team of farm animals.

Discount Bid – Chinese trading fire drill. There’s a 1 in 10,000 chance you actually get a trade on at the price but it’s a good exercise for going through the motions and a great way to kill a few minutes and piss some people off.

Down a Touch – This thing just came off like a f**king prom dress.

Fair and Reasonable – Something the buy-side has no concept of.

Fast Money – Just means they’ve got money moving out the door quicker.

Fill or Kill – Respond this second or deal with the consequences of this extremely illiquid stock not trading and me miraculously catching a second buyer who wants to bid you for the exact same amount in about a half hour or so.

Find out who’s moving the stock - Pick a name out of a hat.

Floor Looks: The only way to be 100% wrong 100% of the time.

Good Guy – Doesn’t ask me any difficult questions.

Great Guy – Doesn’t ask me any difficult questions and gives me business.

Happy – “Happy to get involved”, “Happy to get you started” – Although coming across like Mr. Sunshine, It’s Wall Street’s way of reminding you that your sales trader is just a whore at heart and willing to take one in the keester if it gets him an order.

I have a call into my analyst – If it’s important, go get the info somewhere else.

Enjoy the rest at the link, here.

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Yes folks, now YOU can have the new Zim Zam Optimistic Vision Protector:

Zim Zam helmets are immune to pessimism and are even safer than burying your head in the sand. Worried about another financial disaster? Peak oil? Climate change? The war in Afghanistan? ... Your Zim Zam helmet filters out everything but optimism; Read the Wall Street Journal and never have to worry about seeing an article quoting Nouriel Roubini. Pessimism is filtered out through a digital HTLS system.

Do you have a love one who is anxious or down because they read the Internet? Zim Zam has the equipment you need to turn their lives around. You can even rescue followers of Michael Rupert by slapping one of our helmets over them. In a matter of days the most pessimistic person will invest their remaining 401K or IRA in high risk securities.

Don't worry be happy, wear a Zim Zam.

Support our troops stickers extra.

yes, but does it come with batteries? ~eds.

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This is quite funny, too. The real question is did Jesus require loyalty oaths too?

Now this is funny:

A collection of essays about former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, titled Going Rouge, will be released the same day as Palin's own much-awaited book, Going Rogue.

The essays, collected by The Nation senior editors Richard Kim and Betsy Reed and written by Max Blumenthal, Katha Pollitt, Matt Taibbi and several others, will examine "the nightmarish prospect of her continuing to dominate the nation's political scene."

And yes, the book is available for pre-order.

The real question is can they get placement in bookstores?

With my father-in-law's help this morning, we harvested 500 kilos of apples from our coveted Belle de Boskoop tree. Tomorrow we'll have our annual supply of pure, unmolested apple juice! I say unmolested as I've been thinking a lot about how corporations basically control our entire food chain and how our humble garden provides small yet meaningful spaces of resistance at the margins of our predatory economic system. Plus, I finally got around to reading Joe Bageant’s Dear Hunting with Jesus.

I'm too busy, and mostly too tired to log online these days, much less write blog posts. Don't know when I'll get around to the next one either but here goes...

The exhaustion stems mostly from the unbelievably tiresome task of being a “stay-at-home dad” with our 6 month old. When she does this, like today, I get a little work done. Walnuts, check. Potatoes up before the frost, check. Finish siding the house, check. Replant the blackberries, not yet. Prepare for next weeks lecture that's been on my calender for four months, oh hell no. So I'm "working" tonight.

more after the break