US ARMY GUIDE: Hand To Hand Combat With Zombies


Just because I'm on a zombie kick (I watched Zombieland last night, Fun movie):

Never underestimate the zombie

Zombies are not mindless hunters. They are swifter and craftier than one might expect. A lone zombie can burst out of hiding and take a chunk out of you in the blink of an eye.

Never engage a zombie if you can avoid it

Though zombies are surprisingly quick in confined spaces, they are not swift runners. Engage the zombie only when you are trapped, and escape is not an option.

Focus on the task; keep fear out of your head

No one, no matter what their powers of description, can fully prepare you for your first encounter with a zombie. Their grotesque appearance and smell, along with the inhuman noises they emit, can induce a level of fear and terror that precludes rational response and causes one to freeze. You must not react to the zombie's appearance. Focus instead on delivering a combination of offensive and defensive strikes that will buy you enough time to escape.

More at the link. Thanks MC.


Sean Paul Kelley November 19, 2009 - 10:04am
( categories: Humor & Satire )

I believe you missed the part of the guide where it calls for over-whelming force, and a force to zombie ratio of 10 to 1 to improve promotion chances for would-be Generals.

Synoia November 19, 2009 - 12:03pm

Israeli version.

"All men's gains are the fruit of venturing."

-Herodotus

Sean Paul Kelley November 19, 2009 - 12:08pm

:D

Tina November 19, 2009 - 12:09pm

Actually, I think we've got a plan here. Domesticate the zombies and put them in Congress. Random voting would be just as good as what we've got now. Plus zombies don't talk much, if at all.

Max Brooks, son of Mel and Anne Bancroft, has documented actual attacks. He's our guide to the undomesticated dead.

Michael Collins November 19, 2009 - 1:43pm

Where's the thrill in killing them? They don't feel anything. It's just laborious, exhausting work.

I've only read one of Max Brooks's books, World War Z, but it's a masterpiece.

Russ Wellen November 19, 2009 - 3:47pm

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.