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Fake Cowboy, Fake Texan, Pure Asshole


George Bush is leaving his ranch behind and moving to a tony suburb of Dallas. Whenever someone asks me on this journey where in the States I am from I say Austin, Texas. And then I proceed to explain some realities about George W. Bush, because everyone knows Bush is "from Texas."

One, he was not born in Texas. He was born in New England. Two: he was not educated in Texas. He went to Andover, Yale and Harvard. And three: that he can't even ride a horse. It's not that Bush is Yankee that bothers me, it's that he's just an asshole. An asshole who only knows how to do one thing: use a chainsaw. A chainsaw on the ranch--that he is now going to sell--and a chainsaw on the Constitution and our foreign policy.

I'll be so glad when he is gone. One more week.

There was once a time when traveling as a Texan was kind of cool. Everyone assumed you were a cowboy (I did practically grow up on a horse). And they also assumed you had oil in your backyard. There was a mystique to being a Texan and it makes me sad that now the only thing we are associated with is George W. Bush. That's just pathetic.


Sean Paul Kelley January 15, 2009 - 10:50pm
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( categories: USA: Presidency )

don't forget the ranch in paraguay

I am REALLY hoping he gets back to his CIA roots by launching a secret airline and smuggling heroin from the massive ranch they bought near the generally lawless tri-border zone.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/oct/23/mainsection.tomphillips

--
Hongpong.com

HongPong January 16, 2009 - 12:11am
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dimestore cowboy

so President All-Hat-No-Cattle is not going back to the Crawford ranch...
i guess they can take down the set now.

joe in oklahoma January 16, 2009 - 2:56am
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oh good,

they are letting Bush stay in the state, I was afraid I would have to find new reasons to pick on Texas :D

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." -Henry David Thoreau

Tina January 16, 2009 - 4:14am
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Cheney

I wonder what new rock Cheney plans to crawl under..

geoduck January 16, 2009 - 4:56am
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Funny

We were just talking about exactly the same thing at dinner tonight. Someplace with palm trees and no extradition treaty might be sounding awfully attractive to him around about now. On a related note, has anybody seen hide or hair of Rumsfeld lately? He sure hightailed it out of France when the constabulary started looking for him. I wonder if he's even in the States anymore.

Chickadee January 16, 2009 - 5:28am
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Speaking of whom...

The Jurist Paper Chase

Rumsfeld sued for wrongful death of Guantanamo detainees
Benjamin Klein at 2:50 PM ET

Former US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, as well as more than 100 military officers and personnel, have been sued for the wrongful deaths of two former detainees who committed suicide while at Guantanamo Bay. Family members of the deceased filed the complaint last Wednesday in the US District Court for the District of Columbia. The parents of Yesser al-Zahrani and Salah Ali Abdullah Ahmed al-Salami seek unspecified damages on behalf of their sons for prolonged arbitrary detention, torture, and cruel treatment suffered at Guantanamo, as well as compensation for the emotional suffering experienced as a result of the defendants’ arbitrary detention of the young men. According to the complaint, "Rumsfeld and other defendants in the chain of command intended, knew or should have known of the forms and methods of physical and psychological torture and abuse inflicted on Messrs. al-Salami and al-Zahrani." The plaintiffs are represented by Meetali Jain from the International Human Rights Law Clinic at American University along with Pardiss Kebraei and Shayana Kadidal from the Center for Constitutional Rights. The family of a third inmate, Mani al-Utaybi, who committed suicide the same day as al-Zahrani and al-Salami, has not joined the suit.

Military officials from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS) have stated that the three detainees, who hung themselves using nooses made from sheets and clothes, committed suicide in pursuit of martyrdom. All three had participated in hunger strikes and were among those who had been force-fed. Advisers to US President-elect Barack Obama said Monday that he plans to issue an executive order during his first week in office closing the Guantanamo Bay prison camp."

Read the full complaint HERE

Chickadee January 16, 2009 - 5:41am
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Taking down the set indeed

For someone interested in visual politics, the Bush presidency has provided a wealth of fascinating visual texts. For several years his media team completely dominated how political narratives unfolded in the mainstream media, adeptly performing political stagecraft across media platforms. Crawford was just the first act.

stuart noble January 16, 2009 - 6:23am
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Hate to bust your bubble

but he doesn't know how to use a chainsaw.

He obviously had rocked his blade in the video I saw. Thing wouldn't cut through warm butter.

And bush did absorb all that's wrong with Texas (and we do deserve some criticism). Dallas will be a good place for him. Or Houston. (apologies to the handfull of decent people still living in those places).

I did inhale.

Don January 16, 2009 - 10:06am
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rock his blade

Looks to me like he did that for eight years.
And as a strictly amateur chain saw user, the first and most obvious thing is that the chain really doesn't like dirt or rocks.
And I bet he never even tried to sharpen the chain.
Something for the hep.

JT January 16, 2009 - 12:29pm
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You did Molly Ivins proud!

You did Molly Ivins proud!

KayseJ January 16, 2009 - 2:13pm
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Things associated with Texas...

"There was a mystique to being a Texan and it makes me sad that now the only thing we are associated with is George W. Bush. That's just pathetic."

Well, I live in Dallas, and I want to point out that we're associated with so much more:

Dealey Plaza - Where we all lost our cherry.

Lyndon Baines Johnson, who brought The Vietnam War into everyone's living room, and then quit his job and saddled us with the biggest quitter of all time, Dick Nixon.

And last but not least, the 1985 NCAA Death Penalty for the SMU football program that they are just now beginning to crawl out from under. You remember SMU; the soon-to-be site of the George W. Bush Lie'bary. Seems rather fitting, donchathink?

And need we delve into the Impeachment-that-could-have-been - Iran/Contra - allegedly run by W's daddy when he was VP. Or The Failed October Surprise of 1980, when it's alleged HW made a deal with the Ayatollah not to release the hostages until after the election?

W's just another in a long line - a tradition, as it were - of disasters from Texas.

steven r January 17, 2009 - 10:05pm
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I hear you Steven. Sad, but true, especially SMU's death penalty

“Is not our first thought to go on the road? The road is our source, our vault of treasures, our wealth. Only on the road does the ‘traveller’ feel like himself, at home.”
Ryszard Kapuscinski

Sean Paul Kelley January 17, 2009 - 11:17pm
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