They asked me why Amerika was planning to invade Irak.
I tried to explain.

They asked me why Amerika invaded Irak.
I tried to explain.

They asked me why Ebu Garip didn't have more consequences.
I tried to explain.

They asked me if Bush was going to win.
I said I didn't think so.

They asked me why Bush had won.
I tried to explain. I said half of them were sorry too.
One of them said some of them seem like having fun rather than being sorry. I made no comment. I couldn't.

They applauded Valley of the Wolves.
I defended American soldiers.

If I wasn't in the US during these events, if I didn't know how some of the Americans opposed this war, how they worked, blogged against it non-stop, how they felt as sick as -probably more because this was their country- the rest of the world I would have asked the same questions. I would shake my head in disaggrement to my own explanations. Because of these people, I always tried to correct the assumptions about Americans, tried to seperate what America does from people living in America.

Something happened in the recent days and I am not so sure anymore. I feel tired. I don't want to talk about it with anyone because this time I can't explain it to myself. If we talk about it, I would remain silent and they would say we said so but you always defended those Americans.

They raped a girl, 14 may be 15. They first killed her family, raped her, and then killed her too. They first saw her in a checkpoint. They planned it for a week, so you can't explain it with war bringing the worst in man. This is not something happened in the heat of a serious war like Vietnam with lots of combats. They openly talk about it so you can't explain it with a few bad apples. If they can talk about it then it means it is somewhat acceptable. If the song Hadji Girl can come to life, gain this kind of popularity, find defenders, and even a recording company then nobody can convince me any more that this or Haditha were isolated events. These are not rumors, what we know comes from federal courts, army investigations. What kind of society produces soldiers that can write such a song which is enjoyed by other soldiers and may be eventually recorded and sold? I can't explain it any more.

They first killed her family, raped her, and then killed her too. They planned it for a week.

Forgive me Hadji girl, I defended Americans.