Materials: 24 orange habañero peppers, white distilled vinegar, a 2-cup glass Mason jar. Available at local grocery store.

Procedure: Ensure kitchen is well ventilated, with positive air flow outdoors. At all times minimize physical contact with peppers. Have ready cold running water and detergent.

Rinse peppers with cold water inside plastic bag, draining water by pinching the open end. Carefully remove peppers from plastic bag. Remove stems, place peppers in blender.

Wash hands with detergent.

Pour about one cup of white distilled vinegar in blender. Place blender cap on firmly, ensuring proper seal.

Set blender speed to Puree. Blend for 2 minutes.

WARNING: DO NOT OPEN BLENDER YET.

After 2 minutes, turn off blender, let puree settle for 5 minutes. This allows most of the aerosolized habañero to resorb into the liquid.

WARNING: AEROSOL IS JUST LIKE PEPPER SPRAY. IT CAN BURN EYES AND IF BREATHED CAN CAUSE CHOKING.

At arm's length, remove blender cap, then step away from blender for 2 minutes, allowing left-over aerosol to dissipate.

Pour orange liquid into Mason jar, minimizing spillage. Clean any spills with paper towels to be immediately discarded, then wash hands with detergent. Fill jar to top with more vinegar.

Secure lid on Mason jar. Mark jar clearly as "Hot."

Truth in Labeling

Place Mason jar in refrigerator, with label visible.

End Procedure.

Recommended Usage: This cheerful orange liquid should be handled with the same respect as gasoline. A single drop is capable of inducing agonizing pain if accidentally brought into contact with an eye, while half a teaspoon is sufficient to elevate an innocuous bowl of Ramen to the danger zone.

Discussion: Why do we subject ourselves to these infernal concoctions? Upon reflection, the heat and smoky flavor of good habañero adds something inimitable to certain foods, mainly chilies, burritos and otherwise uninspired bowls of cheap Ramen. Also, there is an undeniable risk factor that offers a small thrill as you speculate, 'how much is too much this time?' We know there is danger here, yet like Gary Larson's one-legged cat, still we gaze into the piranha's bowl and wonder...