I was shot once, when I was about 13. Luckily it was just a BB, from a distance of half a block. Hit me just under my right eye, like the sting of an angry hornet. I remember laying on the ground yelling, "What the fuck??" and hearing laughter in the distance, a couple "buddies" with their cool Daisy single-pump.

That trauma, though minor, is impossible to forget, and yet it was just a BB gun.

What's Hillary's excuse?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080324/ap_on_el_pr/clinton_bosnia;_ylt=AmhSNVmmwTZjoa_LUzYzjPADW7oF

It's quite understandable that Hillary Clinton could forget things, but running for your life from sniper fire would NOT be one of them. The extreme jolt of adrenaline, the soiled underwear - these things become tattooed to your brain cells permanently.

Instead, the well-circulated YouTube video shows Hillary Clinton standing at a celebratory greeting just behind her C-17 transport aircraft. She is not running from sniper fire. She is standing with a warm smile on her face, shaking hands, kissing a little girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It6JN7ALF7Y
(Check out this Hillary-ous video!!)

There are two explanations for this discrepancy, neither nice. Either Hillary is prone to telling tall tales for fun (like the time I stormed the Bastille with a hockey stick), or she lies as easily as breathing, which to me seems the most likely.

In the easy lie Hillary has two old companions, her husband Bill and John McCain.

Bill Clinton has a long history of stretching the truth, usually to cover up his marital infidelities, other times for things like NAFTA, or his pardon of Marc Rich.

John McCain took thousands of dollars in bribes from Charles Keating, was caught by a Senate ethics probe, then gave the money back (whoopsie, didn't know that was illegal), with the stern caution to be more careful next time. All it cost us taxpayers was a few billion dollars. Since that time McCain has forgotten what a bad idea it is to torture prisoners of war, despite himself being a tortured POW for five years. And rich corporate lobbyists run his campaign. And he was screwing a pretty lobbyist behind his wife's back. But he's a "straight talker."

None of these claimed memory lapses is believable. Hillary, would you really NOT remember whether you'd been shot at by a sniper? John, would you really forget that Iran (Shiia) and al Qaida (Sunni) are mortal enemies? And Bill, did you really not notice that Rich's wife gave $300 thousand dollars to your library?

No. I don't believe any of it. Hillary's and McCain's memories are just fine, thank you. Their problem has more to do with the easy lies they tell, lies that get so much easier over time, because after awhile it's just talk. You stand in front of a microphone, say some shit, hope it works. Truth's got nothing to do with it, only effect. Like Fox News. Like CNN. Like MSNBC. Like all the networks, and radio.

And if you get caught red-handed telling an elaborate, detailed lie?

Whoosie, slip of the tongue. A five-minute, vividly descriptive slip of the tongue.

A guy I once knew told me that he'd worked as an announcer at several radio stations. I asked him what his favorite music was, and he shrugged. He didn't care, it was just "product."

It must get that way for some politicians, too. Talking to each other over drinks late at night, Hillary and McCain probably agree that it's all bullshit, just different flavors.

I understand. As Teh Monkeh says, "It's hard work." Catapulting the propaganda, that is.

Of all these people, the only one that seems to say something true is Barack Obama. I know the line, "Sincerity: Once you can fake that..." Yeah sure, it could all be just product with him, too. But at least Obama hasn't pretended to be a great hero. He admits he's not perfect, he hasn't been in a war, never been shot at (in war, anyway). He hasn't made promises that are impossible to keep, either.

Can Obama hold onto his grip on reality, or will he, too, storm the Bastille with a hockey stick? Inventing tall tales and easy lies would be child's play for a man with Obama's rhetorical skills. Fortunately, he appears to be an adult.

The only adult still running for president.