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The Jehoshua Novels


It's So Cute You Think That, Rick

Rick Santorum has said that if he can bring the primary fight to the convention, he can win the Republican nomination.

That’s some weapons-grade denial you got going there, Creamcup.

WASHINGTON (AP) ”” Rick Santorum predicted Monday that he would get the Republican presidential nomination if the race remains undecided by the time the party holds its nominating convention this summer.

Though former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has a commanding lead in the crucial race for delegates, Santorum said the race is about to enter a period where he will face fewer disadvantages. To date, Romney has outspent Santorum and had stronger campaign organizations working for him.

“They are not going to nominate a moderate Massachusetts governor who’s been outspending his opponent 10-1 and can’t win the election outright,” Santorum said on NBC’s “Today” show. “What chance do we have in a general election if he can’t, with an overwhelming money advantage, be able to deliver any kind of knockout blow to other candidates?”

Sure they will, and I’ll tell you why: in a general election, you aren’t going to win with a fucking religious loon who somehow believes himself superior to the very people whose votes he’s trying to win.

Now, that would apply to both Mitt and you, with one glaring difference: Mitt isn’t trying to stuff Mormonism down people’s throats.

While he hasn’t exactly been moderating the tone of the Republican campaign or its many minions and overlords (e.g. Rush Limbaugh) Mitt has at least stopped from all-but claiming women who don’t want to be pregnant are an enemy of the state.

Do you honestly think that there’s a mainline Republican alive who doesn’t privately cringe each and every time you open your mouth and spew forth such seage-like froth? How incredibly egoistical of you to think you are somehow better than the people who will have to live with the consequences of your hate-filled tirades after you’ve long devolved into the muck to which you have consigned yourself.

Look, I’m a liberal of the most liberal stripe: I make Michael Moore blush. But I’m also painfully aware that my viewpoint and dreams for this nation are premature. We have a significant part of the population that’s terrified of things that work: Healthcare. Equality. Opportunity. Fair taxation. Color- and faith-blindness. My POV needs an opposing viewpoint, but as they used to qualify under the Fairness Doctrine, a responsible one.

No country can move forward without someone carefully, sobering tugging on the reins. You want to stop the nation on a dime in a panic, emergency-brake slide, when all we need is to tap the brakes every so often to make sure we’re doing the right thing.

We’re only human, after all.

You, apparently, believe you are more.

1 comment to It's So Cute You Think That, Rick

  • Raja

    Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth

    The Onion, March 5

    WASHINGTON — As Rick Santorum has emerged to become Mitt Romney’s leading opponent for the Republican presidential nomination, the American electorate said Monday it had slowly begun to realize that the former Pennsylvania senator sincerely believes every deranged word that exits his mouth.

    Uneasy voters told reporters it was becoming more and more evident that comments from Santorum defending sodomy laws as acceptable restrictions on “wants and passions” and characterizing pregnancy occurring through rape as a “gift” from God were not politically calculated but were, in fact, spoken out of sincere, startling conviction.

    “I honestly thought he was just playing up to the far-right voters, because that’s what Republicans are supposed to do in the primaries,” said Grand Rapids, MI resident Dan Banks, who explained he had dismissed as manipulative campaign rhetoric Santorum’s assertion that President Obama would send Christians to the guillotine. “But now it’s dawning on me that this guy means it, all of it. Every single thing he says is an accurate depiction of how he sees the world.”

    [...]

    While most voters said they grew progressively more troubled as they fully registered the fact that Santorum was being entirely earnest when he said Social Security was underfunded because abortions had critically reduced the number of potential taxpayers, some were more conflicted.

    “It’s nice to hear a candidate espouse his opinions without your BS detector going off even once,” Margate, FL voter Lisa Bearden said. “He’s kind of the real deal. Say what you will, but there’s no denying he’s got genuine integrity.”

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