Friday Cat Slagging

I’m travelling this week, so no update for June 1. We’ll start a new thread for the 8th. Cheers!

…..after the jump

Previous Entries:
May 25 “Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.” – Jeff Valdez

May 18 “The trouble with a kitten is that / eventually it becomes a cat” – Ogden Nash
May 11 “The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat.” – Michael McGarel
May 4 “The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.” – E. W. Howe
April 27 This week’s theme? It should be obvious: “Comfort”
April 13 “A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization.” – Anonymous

April 6 “Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.” – P G Wodehouse
March 30 “Perhaps a child, like a cat, is so much inside of himself that he does not see himself in the mirror.” – Anais Nin
March 23 “Way down deep we are all motivated by the same urges; cats have the courage to live by them.” – Jim Davis
March 16 “The key to a successful new relationship between a cat and human is patience.” – Susan Easterly
March 9 “Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse.” – Robert A. Heinlein
March 2 “Some cats are blind and stone deaf but ain’t no cat wuz ever dumb.” – Anthony Henderson Euwer
February 23 “Because it’s still Friday somewhere.”
February 16 “Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.” – Bruce Graham
February 9 “Apologies for the tardiness. The 24-hour flu rules.”
February 2 “Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.” – Steven Wright
January 26 “Cats come and go without ever leaving.” – Martha Curtis
January 19 “Some animals are secretive; some are shy. A cat is private.” – Leonard Michaels
January 12 “A good dog deserves a good master. Ol’ Skidboot has it made.”
January 5 “A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.” – Hazel Nicholson
Favorites of 2006

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  • Cat-opoly

    About the Game

    •For 2-6 players or teams
    •Ages 8 and up

    CAT-OPOLY is a feline frenzy of fun! Buy your favorite cats such as the Tonkinese, the Ragdoll, the Abyssinian, the Sphinx or the Maine Coon. Land on Catnip and collect everything in the center of the board. Collect Litter Boxes and trade them in for Fish Bones. You may have to pay dog tax to get past the neighborhood bully, a spike collared bulldog, or worst of all, you may fall in the water and be out for three turns. Cat-astrophic!…there’s nothing madder than a wet cat!

  • By Patricia Doxsey, Freeman staff


    Kingston Daily Freeman MILAN – Robert See, the Milan man accused of killing and beheading his family cat last January, will likely be a free man in March after serving more than six months in jail and completing a 28-day drug treatment program.

    See is expected to be sentenced in Dutchess County Court Monday to five years probation on unrelated charges stemming from a September burglary arrest. Once that case is settled, Milan Town Court Justice Francis Christensen expects to sentence See, who has been in jail awaiting disposition of the felony case, to “time served” on the misdemeanor animal cruelty charge.

    According to authorities, See, 31, shot his cat with a high-powered rifle after the cat urinated on the carpet of the See home. He then chopped off the cat’s head with an ax, placed the head in a bag, and hung the bag from a tree on a neighboring property. Authorities said See collects animal skulls and intended to add the cat’s skull to his collection.

    A neighboring landowner discovered the cat head hanging from a bag in a tree and notified authorities, who arrested See on Jan. 11, 2006.

    In September, See was arrested again and charged with second-degree possession of a controlled substance, burglary and petty larceny, all felonies.

    See, who had told Christensen he was studying to become a corrections officer, was arrested after he crawled through the roof of an A&P supermarket in Hopewell Junction. Authorities said that at the time of his arrest, See had in his possession eight ounces of hydrocodone, a powerful painkiller that he had taken from the store pharmacy. Police believe See discarded other large bottles of pills as he fled from the store. He has been in Dutchess County Jail in lieu of bail since his arrest.

    Assistant District Attorney Frank Chase told Christensen that See is expected to be sentenced to five years probation, the first six months of which he will have served in Dutchess County Jail, on the burglary charge. As part of that plea arrangement, Chase said, See must also complete a 28-day inpatient drug rehabilitation program.

    Upon his release from that program, See will return to Milan Town Court, where, Chase said, he will recommend Christensen sentence See to six months in jail, time he will have already served.

  • Hilary Russ | Harwich, MA | January 12

    Cape Cod Online Two people escaped a bedroom fire after the house cat woke them up last night, fire officials said.

    The black cat’s urgent meowing awoke a woman in the home at 66 Long Pond Drive just before midnight, according to Harwich Fire Capt. Kent Farrenkopf. She and another occupant tried to put out the fire, which began in the bedroom, but had to flee and call rescuers after they were unable to douse the blaze.

    When firefighters arrived at the one and a half story wood frame home, they saw flames licking the rear and right side windows, Farrenkopf said.

    The fire, which caused about $25,000 to $50,000 in damage, was extinguished quickly, but the cause is still undetermined, according to Farrenkopf.

    No one was injured, not even the cat.

    But two windows in the smoky, water-damaged bedroom blew out. The occupants turned to the Red Cross for temporary housing.

    Harwich police and the Brewster Fire Department assisted at the scene.

  • never forget to fill that bowl- they could revert

    National Geographic (2002) – Three South African scientists believe they have identified several predators that preyed upon human ancestors millions of years ago.

    The potential hominid killers include Megantereon, an extinct saber-toothed cat with oversize fangs, the leopard, and spotted hyena.

    Archaeologists Julia Lee-Thorp and Nikolaas van der Merwe of the University of Cape Town, and paleontologist Francis Thackeray of the Transvaal Museum in Pretoria, South Africa, believe these carnivores were stalking and killing early hominids on the South African savanna 2.5 million years ago.

    Professor Phillip Tobias, emeritus professor of Anatomy and Human Biology at the University of the Witwatersrand, believes Lee-Thorp’s study has greatly enhanced scientific understanding of the diets of early hominids, apes, and that of some of the large carnivores.

    “For a long time this has been the object of much study; (Raymond) Dart first claimed that ape men hunted all other mammals, then C.K. (Bob) Brain determined through a series of brilliant analyses that it was primates that were the hunted and not the hunters. Now Lee-Thorp and her colleagues’ research appears to provide proof that ape men were being hunted,” Tobias says.

    technical details at the link

    “at some point I’m hopeful I’ll figure out something to put here”

  • PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — A 20-pound stray cat whose girth got him stuck in a pet door while trying to plunder some dog food was reunited with his owner Thursday.

    Owner Geoff Ernest said the tubby tabby, Hercules, went missing while he was in Seattle for a lung transplant six months ago.

    Jadwiga Drozdek, who lives in suburban Portland, found the feline stuck in the dog door of her home a few days ago, helped free him and gave him a plate of food on her patio.

    While at the Humane Society, Hercules was diagnosed with Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, similar to HIV in humans.

    The society says cats can live years with the virus and still make good pets, but owners should keep them indoors to keep it from spreading.

    Veterinarians say about 40 percent of America’s cats are obese, putting them at risk for a variety of diabetes-related disorders.
    Hercules, meanwhile, has had his 15 minutes of fame, piling up stacks of hits on YouTube and other Web sites.

  • I read that story in the hometown rag a couple days ago, but their website did not have it and I couldn’t find it when I searched…

    “Damn right it’s loaded, it makes a lousy club.”

  • I don’t really hate cats, I’m just incredibly allergic to them and they seem to sense it. People tell me time and time again that their cats are not as “friendly” to most other people as they are to me. Coincidence? I don’t think so!!!

  • If you want to live a healthier life get a dog, research suggests.

    The companionship offered by many pets is thought to be good for you, but the benefits of owning a dog outstrip those of cat owners, the study says.

    A psychologist from Queen’s University, Belfast, said dog owners tended to have lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

    Writing in the British Journal of Health Psychology, she says that regular ‘walkies‘ may partly explain the difference.

    Dr Deborah Wells reviewed dozens of earlier research papers which looked at the health benefits of pet ownership.

  • Friday, January 26, 2007

    Metro – Police were drafted in after a cat tried to fish a mouse out of a jam jar and got its head stuck.

    A motorist went to a police station for help after finding the tabby wandering beside a road in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, with the jar on its head and the mouse millimetres from its nose.

    A receptionist and three officers pulled and twisted but were unable to release the cat, police said.

    Eventually the animal freed itself – and the mouse – by smashing the jar on the floor of Thorpe Wood police station.

    “It was like a scene from Tom and Jerry,” said a police spokeswoman. “I don’t think anyone had ever seen anything like it before.

    “The receptionist tried to get the jar off when the motorist brought the cat in – but she couldn’t. So three policemen were asked to help.

    “They tried to prise the jar off as this terrified mouse looked on – but it was firmly wedged.

    “Eventually the cat smashed the jar on the floor and the mouse ran off – it’s still running around Thorpe Wood police station somewhere.”

    The cat was examined by a vet and found to be unharmed.

    Police checked the cat’s microchip, discovered she was called Mindy, and quickly reunited her with her owner, who lives in Peterborough.

  • Deliberate Cuteness (especially depicting non-felines) in this thread will be punished, up to and including emails containing annoying videos to the perpetrator.

    Thank you,

    Friday Cat Slagging

  • …shoes crapped in for that.

    “Political Islam is a dream or a nightmare, but not a sociological reality.” – Olivier Roy, Globalized Islam: The Search for a New Ummah

  • poor little kitty! Why would anyone do that? Had I witnessed it, I would have called the SPCA and had them charged with cruelty to animals. 🙁

  • to the Pet Spa website,

    Using our unique technology we are able to lower the stress on pets compared to traditional bathing due to the fact that we do not use a restraining system and there is no stranger restraining or holding the pet. Also our unique patented nozzle system will provide a hydro-massage shower that will relax the pet and increase circulation which is very beneficial.

    They’ve also taken care not to get water into the pets eyes:

    The pet is placed looking through the window so that the water doesn’t go directly into the eyes.

    Sounds like a dream come true!

  • its not the cats, its the bats! 😉

    US warns of bird flu threat from Indonesian cats
    By :
    Date : 08 February 2007 0124 hrs (SST)
    URL : LINK

    JAKARTA : The US embassy on Wednesday warned its citizens to avoid cats in Indonesia following reports that they may carry the deadly H5N1 bird flu virus.

    Indonesia is the country worst affected by avian influenza with 83 human infections and 63 deaths. Most victims have had close contact with infected poultry.

    An Indonesian scientist recently discovered that 20 percent of live cats in areas which had been affected by bird flu, in poultry or humans, were infected with the virus.

    “There have been confirmed reports that wild and stray cats have been shown to carry H5N1,” the embassy said in a warning to US citizens in Indonesia.

    “While there have been no documented cases of feline-to-human transmission of H5N1, it is important to avoid contact with wild and stray cats, and to ensure that domesticated cats do not eat or interact with sick or dying poultry,” it said.

    It said pet cats which mainly live indoors should not be at risk of catching bird flu.

    Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine in the United States says two scientific reports have shown that domestic cats can become infected if they eat uncooked meat from H5N1-infected chickens and can pass the infection directly to other cats.

    “None of the known strains of influenza virus are transmissible between cats and people,” it says on its website, while warning that viruses are “very changeable by nature.”

    Scientists fear bird flu will mutate into a form easily transmissible between humans, sparking a pandemic that could potentially kill millions.

    According to the World Health Organisation, a total of 166 people have died of bird flu since 2003, out of 272 infections. – AFP/de

  • Mickey, a part Siamese cat, stays warm all bundled up in baby clothes with his owner Cindy Neff, on a frigid Thursday in Auburn, Maine. Mickey was going home after a trip to the pharmacy.
    (Lewiston Sun Journal photo by Jose Leiva)

  • FAO warns about risk to cats


    In other avian flu news, the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) released a statement yesterday advising cat owners who live in areas where the H5N1 virus has been found in poultry or wild birds to keep their cats away from infected birds and warning that cats living on commercial poultry farms should be kept indoors.

    The FAO advisory cited unconfirmed reports that H5N1 has been detected in feral cats that roam near poultry markets in Java and Sumatra where recent H5N1 avian outbreaks have occurred. Cats can become infected by feeding on sick domestic or wild birds, and they can shed the virus from their respiratory and digestive tracts.

    “This raises some concern, not only because cats could act as intermediary hosts in the spread of the H5N1 virus between species but also because growth in cats might help the H5N1 virus to adapt into a more highly infectious strain that could spark an influenza pandemic,” said FAO Assistant Director-General Alexander Müller.

    Peter Roeder, FAO animal health officer, said findings from Indonesia in January suggest that 80% of cats in outbreak areas are not infected. “This is rather encouraging because it indicates that cats are unlikely to constitute a reservoir of virus infection,” he said. “Cats are more likely to be a dead-end host for the H5N1 virus.”

    In a related development, the US Embassy in Jakarta issued a letter Feb 7 to Americans traveling or living in Indonesia urging them to keep abreast of local news reports about avian flu outbreaks and advising them to avoid contact with wild or stray cats. The letter also urged Americans to keep their cats away from sick or dying poultry and out of areas where H5N1 outbreaks have occurred. Domestic cats that primarily live inside residences should not be at risk for catching H5N1, the letter said.

  • Cat Survives Being Frozen in Trough

    LOSANTVILLE, Ind. (AP) — A cat found half-frozen in a water trough is recovering, but may lose his tail.

    Melissa Jones said she found the cat Tuesday when she stepped onto her porch for a cigarette. His tail and hind legs were stuck in about three inches of ice. She and her husband used buckets of hot water to free him.

    “His little ears are droopy and purple and so are his little feet,” Jones said, adding that his new nickname is “Droopy.”

    In the morning, she took the seven-month-old yellow and white tiger cat to a veterinarian, where he was given an antibiotic. The vet recommended a regimen of warm water and foot and tail massages to help its circulation, but still may lose its tail.

    Jones says the family will probably keep the cat indoors from now on.


  • February 16, 2007

    BY STEPHEN SINGER MERIDEN, Conn. — Workers at the Meriden Humane Society are marveling at a short-haired mother cat that has adopted a 6-day-old Rottweiler puppy that was rejected by its mother.

    The tiny pup, named Charlie by shelter volunteers, nurses alongside a jumble of kittens recently born to Satin.

    Charlie’s mother gave birth to two puppies, but one was stillborn so the mother refused to accept Charlie.

    Volunteers bottle-fed him every two hours, but the effort was exhausting for them and insufficient for the puppy, volunteer Chris Chorney said.

    Satin’s four kittens have quickly warmed to Charlie. They ”scrum up with him and the kittens treat him like one of their own,” Chorney said.

    The cozy arrangement will likely change as the pup grows. Full-grown male Rottweilers commonly weigh 100 pounds.


  • Text page received yesterday: “I need to reset my password”. no name, no number.

    User complaint when called on a help page this morning: “we can’t print no reports.”

    Twenty times a week: “The computer forgot my password.”

    2:00 a.m. special: “The computer won’ lemme eeyun.”

    Die kittens, die.

    “Damn right it’s loaded, it makes a lousy club.”

  • Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary:

    8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing
    9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
    11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:

    Day 683 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
    me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
    meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
    nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
    nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
    only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
    disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

    Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
    body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
    hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
    they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little
    hunter” I am. The audacity!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
    tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
    event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
    overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I
    must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to
    assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
    walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
    flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally challenged!

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My Captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe …. for now….

    “at some point I’m hopeful I’ll figure out something to put here”

  • David Biello | Scientific American | March 8

    Sugar and spice and everything nice hold no interest for a cat. Our feline friends are only interested in one thing: meat (except for saving up the energy to catch it by napping, or a round of restorative petting…) This is not just because inside every domestic tabby lurks a killer just waiting to catch a bird or torture a mouse, it is also because cats lack the ability to taste sweetness, unlike every other mammal examined to date.

    They don’t taste sweet the way we do. They’re lucky. Cats really have bad teeth as it is.” – Joe Brand, Monell Chemical Senses Center

  • Rita Price | Columbus | March 16

    The Columbus Dispatch Investigators say that a woman who confessed to killing 650 cats and dogs is expected to return to Columbus to face criminal charges on Monday.

    Maureen McLaughlin, 56, apparently had checked herself into a mental-health facility in the Mansfield area by the time authorities went to her North Side apartment on Wednesday, Assistant City Prosecutor Bill Hedrick said.

    Hedrick said that a social worker who knows McLaughlin told authorities that the woman has a bipolar disorder.

    “I want to make sure our mental-health experts are ready,” Hedrick said.

  • If you are weary of all the BS flowing out of D.C. and need some lighthearted fun, watch this video of a Blue Merle Aussie pup and an older black cat that are Best Buds. She has a couple other great clips of these two.

  • while the owners are away:

    Or let’s give the dog the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just studying the painting behind him and decided to play the role of the court jester by preparing the cat for the owner’s amusement when they returned.

  • March 30, 2007

    The Sun – PET lover PARIS HILTON has added a DWARF cat to her menagerie of small animals.

    The socialite – who also owns two chihuahuas, a kinkajou, a ferret and a goat – was seen clutching the miniature grey feline while getting out of her car.

    Although the 26-year-old is delighted with her new kittie, she has been slammed for purchasing the unusual cat because the specialist breed has numerous health problems.

    ”I despise ideologues masquerading as objective journalists.” – Bill O’Reilly, March 30, 2007

  • I’m supposed to worry about “tainting” her diet? Rat poison would be a fois gras sandwich after one of her lunches…

    “Lord! What Fools these Mortals be!”

  • that would kill us(different enzymes than we have), but rat poison, no, that’s how they used to get rid of the population of strays where I grew up!

    “A bad treaty is better than a good missile” ~ Andrei Kislyakov

  • wow this site is a trip roflmao

    On the streets these days, a dime bag of kittens costs a pretty penny.”

    ~ Oscar Wilde on Kitten Huffing

    “A jolly good habit, I’ve been told… though I daresay I wouldn’t try it myself.”

    ~ King George VI on Kitten Huffing

    “In Soviet Russia, kitten huffs YOU!!!”

    ~ Yakov Smirnov on Kitten Huffing

    “Well, I suppose if it weren’t for the kittens, we never would’ve had the idea for Jesus Christ Superstar. I mean, the other drugs had us fucked up real good, but the kittens gave us the creative edge.”

    ~ Mel Gibson on Kitten Huffing

  • High Falls, NY | May 11

    Kingston Freeman – A High Falls man is accused of shooting his next-door neighbors’ cat with an arrow on Saturday, then dumping the animal nearby to die.

    The cat’s owner, Helen Creegan, said she and her husband were at a ball game in Rosendale Saturday afternoon and got a call at about 5 p.m. from another neighbor who had seen someone take the cat, a 4-year-old named Zipper, from the Creegans’ front porch with a net and drive away with it.

    The cat had apparently already been injured, Creegan said, and had managed to get from the woods near the house to the porch.

    “I despise idealogues masquerading as objective journalists.” – Bill O’Reilly, March 30, 2007

  • When God Made Cats

    When God made the world, He chose to put animals in it, and decided to give each whatever it wanted. All the animals formed a long line before His throne, and the cat quietly went to the end of the line. To the elephant and the bear He gave strength, to the rabbit and the deer, swiftness; to the owl, the ability to see at night, to the birds and the butterflies, great beauty; to the fox, cunning; to the monkey, intelligence; to the dog, loyalty; to the lion, courage; to the otter, playfulness. And all these were things the animals begged of God. At last he came to the end of the line, and there sat the little cat, waiting patiently. “What will YOU have?” God asked the cat.

    The cat shrugged modestly. “Oh, whatever scraps you have left over. I don’t mind.”

    “But I’m God. I have everything left over.”

    “Then I’ll have a little of everything, please.”

    And God gave a great shout of laughter at the cleverness of this small animal, and gave the cat everything she asked for, adding grace and elegance and, only for her, a gentle purr that would always attract humans and assure her a warm and comfortable home.

    But he took away her false modesty.

    – Lenore Fleischer

  • the modesty was false from the very beginning-just another devious cat-trick.
    “George Washington did not cross the Delaware for Capitalism,” Shmuley Boteach

  • but didn’t dare ask. Catch it at WIKI before some helpful soul shortens the entry, as requested.

    For instance…”A study by the National Cancer Institute published in the journal Science asserts that all house cats are descended from a group of self-domesticating desert wildcats Felis silvestris lybica circa 10,000 years ago, in the Near East.”

    Cat genealogy abstract

    Who knew?

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