Category - Humor & Satire

Koch-backed group sending ‘real scientists’ to school Pope Francis about ‘Biblical duty’ to pollute

Raw Story, By Travis Gettys, April 24

A Koch-backed think tank plans to send climate change deniers to Rome in hopes of convincing Pope Francis not to support United Nations action on the environment.

The libertarian Heartland Institute — perhaps best known for working alongside cigarette manufacturers to question the dangers of second-hand smoke — will host a workshop featuring two “real scientists” Tuesday in Rome ahead of a Vatican summit on the environment, although the group neglected to identify its scientists.

Pope Francis plans to issue an encyclical letter this summer that will address environmental issues, and very likely climate change — which could make the issue a moral and religious concern for Christians worldwide.

[…]

“The Holy Father is being misled by ‘experts’ at the United Nations who have proven unworthy of his trust,” said Joseph Bast, president of the Heartland Institute. “Humans are not causing a climate crisis on God’s Green Earth – in fact, they are fulfilling their Biblical duty to protect and use it for the benefit of humanity. Though Pope Francis’s heart is surely in the right place, he would do his flock and the world a disservice by putting his moral authority behind the United Nations’ unscientific agenda on the climate.”

Via Wonkette: Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!

Why confidential tips to the government may not be confidential after all

Washington Post, By Craig Timberg & Lisa Rein, April 16

Got a hot tip about federal waste, fraud or corruption? You should think twice about using the government’s own online systems for collecting such complaints.

Many of them promise confidentiality but for years have sent sensitive data – including names, addresses and phone numbers of whistleblowers, as well as the details of their allegations – across the Internet in a way that could be intercepted by hackers or snoops. Or, perhaps worse still, by the agencies named in the complaints.

Twenty-nine of these sites, set up by inspectors generals who in many cases are required by federal law to protect the identities of whistleblowers, do not use encryption technology that has become a standard privacy protection across much of the Internet, according to a review by the ACLU. A State Department site offering up to $10 million rewards for terrorism tips has the same weakness, exposing the identities of tipsters to a range of potentially interested parties, including operators of cyber cafes or government spies in the countries where the tipsters live.

Jon Stewart Should Retire More Often

The chains of restraint have been loosed just a bit since his announcement that he’ll be leaving the show soon, and the quality of the show has increased. Last night’s take-down of the former VP was both entertaining and vitriolic – but perhaps I repeat myself.

Have a look:


Bonus: The ‘Murican Awards

Ben Carson to make ‘major announcement’ on May 4: CNN

Reuters, By Peter Cooney, April 13

Washington – Retired physician Ben Carson, considered a potential Republican presidential contender, plans a major announcement on May 4 in Detroit, CNN reported on Monday, citing his spokeswoman.

“He will make an announcement. But he’s still very much in the exploratory phase, so he hasn’t made a decision yet,” the spokeswoman, Deana Bass, told the network.

Next, We Muslims Bring Sharia to Indiana

The Daily Beast, Dean Obeidallah, April 3

Allah’s blessings be upon you, Mike Pence. Now that “religious conscience” means whatever, we Muslims are going to town!

I, along with millions of Muslims across the country, have to give it up for Indiana Governor Mike Pence and his merry band of liberty-loving Republicans in the state legislature. The “religious liberty” law they recently enacted may be causing an uproar, but for us Muslims, it means we can now finally impose sharia law in Indiana!

I’m not sure who is happier, the Wiccans or us? As The Daily Beast’s David Freedlander wrote on Tuesday, the Wiccans are loving this law. Okay, actually they think it’s a “horrible” law because of its potentially discriminatory impact against the LGBT community. But as Dusty Dionne, High Priest and High Summoner of the Aquarian Tabernacle Church of Washington State, told Freedlander, “If they are going to open up this can of worms, we are going to shove it right in their face.” There has to be one Muslim Wiccan out there who is truly delirious with joy. (Although I’m not sure technically if such a combo is possible.)

China’s Tensions With Dalai Lama Spill Into the Afterlife

New York Times, By Chris Buckley, March 11

Hong Kong — Chinese Communist Party leaders are afraid that the Dalai Lama will not have an afterlife. Worried enough that this week, officials repeatedly warned that he must reincarnate, and on their terms.

Tensions over what will happen when the 14th Dalai Lama, who is 79, dies, and particularly over who decides who will succeed him as the most prominent leader in Tibetan Buddhism, have ignited at the annual gathering of China’s legislators in Beijing.

Officials have amplified their argument that the Communist government is the proper guardian of the Dalai Lama’s succession through an intricate process of reincarnation that has involved lamas, or senior monks, visiting a sacred lake and divining dreams.

Party functionaries were incensed by the exiled Dalai Lama’s recent speculation that he might end his spiritual lineage and not reincarnate. That would confound the Chinese government’s plans to engineer a succession that would produce a putative 15th Dalai Lama who accepts China’s presence and policies in Tibet. Their anger welled up on Wednesday, as it had a day earlier.

Zhu Weiqun, a Communist Party official who has long dealt with Tibetan issues, told reporters in Beijing on Wednesday that the Dalai Lama had, essentially, no say over whether he was reincarnated. That was ultimately for the Chinese government to decide, he said, according to a transcript of his comments on the website of People’s Daily, the party’s main newspaper.

“Decision-making power over the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, and over the end or survival of this lineage, resides in the central government of China,” said Mr. Zhu, formerly a deputy head of the United Front Department of the Communist Party, which oversees dealings with religious and other nonparty groups. He now leads the ethnic and religious affairs committee of the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference, an advisory body that meets at the same time as the Legislature, or National People’s Congress.

3bb1012ca7881a903f6bb688401857a5453d3be4