Breaking: Santa Sacked By Private Equity Company!

Hey you out there, the one buying all the Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and early 4th of July gifts for friends–I have a doozy for you. My pal Bruce Kluger, satirist extraordinaire of NPR, USA Today, etc. has written (with David Slavin) an updated 2010 version of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas. Sadly, as they point out in the book, and as Mrs. Claus’ new photo spread will attest to, the Claus family has become yet the latest, desperate victims of Corporate America, who must do whatever it takes to survive our economic mess:

Early this morning, Santa Claus, the jolly icon of the holidays and legendary symbol of Christmas for more than 970 years, was asked to step down from his position as chief manufacturer and distributor of holiday toys and merriment. The announcement was made by a spokesman for GigantiCorp, the private equity firm that acquired Santa’s Workshop earlier this year in a historic leveraged buyout.

GigantiCorp went on to announce that Claus will be replaced by “a more cost-effective team of regional Santas” scattered around the globe.

So apparently we should have broken up the banks and taxed gazillion-dollar bonuses. Who knew? On a more serious note, this is a hilarious book and a great gift for the holidays, especially for progressives. I highly recommend!

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Cliff Schecter

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