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In the Year 2039....The year 2039 marked the turning point in the war. After almost destroying the country in 2038, the MBS/CDS-08's - always referred to simply as the "killer robots" - were finally on the run. Most people thought the killer robot problem had started early in the 2030s, although some scholars claimed the roots of the problem extended even further back. At first, the military buildup of the killer robots had seemed a boon to the American economy. The military, politicians, and killer robot industry spokesmen had claimed the MBS/CDS-08's would function as a stabilizing force in the United States and for the World. However, in late 2037 the killer robots became surly, not behaving as they had been designed to behave. It was all very complicated and confusing. In 2038, the killer robots had turned on their masters, wiping out over 40% of America. People sought refuge in all manner of shelters, but the killer robots destroyed them without mercy. The toll was staggering as America was almost brought to its knees by millions of killer robots attacking in waves. Slowly - so slowly that many doubted it was even happening - the tide turned. The killer robots were defeated and people were able to emerge from their strongholds, exhausted and battered, and resume their lives. Although millions were dead and missing, a semblance of normalcy returned throughout the land. The pundits returned to the intercloud and the politicians returned to Washington. They knew that the devastation of the killer robots rebellion had to be addressed. It wasn't enough that the killer robots had finally been destroyed - there was a system that needed fixing. A system that had allowed the killer robots to grow, despite the warnings of danger. A system that was broken. On the intercloud, the infotainers quickly identified the problem. It was the poor. They hadn't been able to resist sufficiently when the robots had risen up. While many retropaleoneoconservatives merely heaped abuse upon the destitute, the not-libcentermiddlers enacted bold legislation to fix the problem. A visionary program to help the poor to "up-gun", allowing them to be more effective in repelling any future killer robot-like problems that might arise. The program involved rebates, and was called "PayPalPayments For Semi-Automatics". With better government subsidized weaponry, the near destruction of our way of life by the poor will be prevented in the future. Still, the country's main issue was how to ensure that killer robots never threatened this great nation again. The problem was how to do this without inconveniencing, in any way, the killer robot industry, its lenders, shareholders, and suppliers. Many new ideas were discussed, including radical ideas put forth just after the killer robots uprising was put down about doing away with killer robots altogether. This kind of radicalism was shown to be harmful by the respected associations, public relations firms funded by the profits salted away by the killer robot manufacturers prior to the uprising and slaughter, and robot industry supported scholars. The administration in power at the end of the worst of the robot war had supported tax breaks for the killer robot industry, allowing the development of kinder, gentler killer robots. These new "K-Bots" would have faith-based programing, and would pledge to abstain from the wanton murder of millions of citizens. This policy was the subject of intense public debate prior to the intercloud poll to select the next Admin of the United States. The opposition won, changing the direction of U.S. policy from the foolish program that encouraged K-Bot manufacturing through tax cuts, to a more focussed and rational policy of encouraging K-Bot production through loan guarantees and government subsidized borrowing. Attempts to regulate killer robot manufacturing, as well as killer robot's weapons, programing, armor, and nuclear capabilities, was the subject of numerous bills, all proposing different agencies to oversee the industry. However, a bipartisan consensus could not be reached that would survive a filibuster in the Senate (now an open-air forum, the Capitol Building and surrounding buildings having been destroyed by lasers and particle beam weapons). Attempts to reach out to the two Senators from Skynet were unsuccessful, but many are hopeful a watered down bill that regulates the way citizens pay for killer robots, used for purposes other than home protection, can be passed in 2040. So, 2039 marked the dawn of a new, hopeful era in America, where killer robots were no longer a threat, and the economy had begun to gain traction, showing increasing incremental strength as K-Bot manufacturing leads the way to a brave new world of peace and prosperity. ** Also see related diaries: Sean Paul: what will the world look like thirty years hence?~ tina AMC December 1, 2009 - 9:05pm
( categories: Humor & Satire )
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