Recipes For Supermarket Discount Cards?

Q: recipes for supermarket discount cards? Obviously, they require long cooking. But what method is best? And what spices do you recommend?

A: Discount cards are indeed tough and i suggest a highly acidic marinade, battery acid being the fluid of choice combined with some red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, oil, thyme and tarragon. Leave overnight, then braise in the usual way; cook aromatic veg, add the cards and marinade and put in a 300 oven for, oh, 8 or 10 hours. For the last 45 minutes add a selection of fresh vegetables. If the acid eats thru the pot then choose a different material in future.