Funeral Problems

Q: Do any pipers feel like I do about funerals? I think that choir directors and even the rest of the group think of pipers as the "not needed" part of the funeral. On a couple of jobs I have had these people tell me when to play and what to play, even when the family of the deceased have other ideas. Today I played at a funeral of a friend. His wife asked me to play. When I got to the church the choir director said that I should play after the recessional song, when everyone has left the church. I was shocked, I asked what was the use of playing if the church would be empty? The director said that he was too busy to deal with this, and walked away. I asked the family what they would like. I then spoke to the priest and told him of the family and their request. The priest then told the choir director what I was going to do. Everything worked out great, but the choir director was really mad. At least the family got what they wanted. I think this is an example of the low esteem in which pipers are held by other musicians. They seem to think that we are like guitar players, a dime a dozen. I have changed the way I will do a funeral, and if its not my way, I am not doing it. From now on I will tell the choir what I am going to do and they will have to work around me. Am I right or not?

A: In some cases, you're right about that! A fellow piper had been hired to do a wedding this month. Last week the bride's mother called to cancel because the organist and the pianist thought the pipes were "just inappropriate" and "didn't match the music they were playing" Go figure. If it was MY wedding and I wanted pipes, I would tell the ogranist to live with it. I think you did the right thing at the funeral. The family is who is important, not the funeral director or the choir director or anyone else for that matter. very true. I've found that most ghouls (funeral directors) are firmly on your side. I've also found that most choir directors are decent too. Obviously there are jerks out there as well; probably this one didn't like pipes. I've played funerals in tiny churches, funeral homes, the open air, and big cathedrals, and I've never had a problem. Weddings - that's a different story. The family is your primary responsibility. If they asked for you, and asked you do do something specific then that's where your duty lies. Especially if they contacted you directly. The clergy comes second, as there MAY be some restriction as to what kind of music gets performed within the sanctity of the church. Most of the time that won't be a problem, but it wouldn't hurt to check. The funeral director is probably going to be a good mediating point for that information if you can't speak directly to the clergy person.. The choir director may be an important member of the church, and responsible for duties therin, but doesn't have any business telling you what to do in this case. You don't have to be rude, but you can find a polite way of telling the individual to go play in the road. The funeral is for the comfort of the family and friends of the deceased, not the power trip of some know-it-all choir director.

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