Colorado Funeral Rant
Q: I can't hold this in any longer, I just can't...extremely
mean-spirited and insensitive rant ahead:
So, earlier today (Monday) the teacher's funeral was held. Of
course, this teacher is a hero, because he allegedly tried to get
students out of the building while being wounded. In fact, he
was a hero before he got shot, in the eyes of a principal, just
for the mere fact of being a HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
. Alright, being a high school teacher is below
dung beetle rustler on my list of career choices, and there are
schools where teaching is the equivalent of a war zone tour of
duty, but Charming Downtown Columbine High isn't one of them,
Now, I turned the news off with disgust at the first Fundie
Girl's funeral, basically because the preacher was doing his
Future Televangalist Try-out Sermon in front of the cameras. I
read in disbelief here about the graffiti casket, where the deep
and insightful turns of phrase swiped word for word from the deep
and insightful bad poetry of the school literary magazine will be
buried with her remains for eternity (or at least until the
ground water washes away the non-permanent ink I'm sure most of
them used), and I tried, tried, tried not to explode over
Algore's remarks and the secular canonization of 16 year olds.
But the funeral of this teacher sent me over the edge for one
This man, only 47 years old, was a grandfather. Not of one or
two, but of ten. 10, T-E-N, ten, from three children. And
they're calling him a hero, because he told students to get down
while gunfire was going off. I quote: "Two students told
mourners at Trinity Christian Center that shouted warnings from
Sanders amid the gunfire saved their lives by giving them time to
duck for safety. "He was a hero before that," added Columbine
Principal Frank DeAngelis. "He was so unselfish, someone who
brought out the best in people. ... He made me a better person."
Well, if these kids were too damn stupid to duck at the sound of
gunshots or any loud bang on their own and need to be told to
duck by a teacher, perhaps the shooters were acting in the best
interests of Darwin. And you aren't a fucking hero because you
yell duck or shoo people out a door so you can get out, too. So,
tell me, when will the fund for the grandsproggen be started,
because as we all know, it's such a fucking tragedy that the
kiddeeeees will have to grow up without a Grandbreederdaddee...
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
If there's any silver lining in this whole sorry affair, it's
that 14 teenagers will never reproduce. I wonder if any of the
parunts will be attempting late-life baybees just to aleive their
overwhelming grief...and I also fucking wonder, talking about
parental responsibility, if any of the parents of the teens who
were throwing full soda cans and sideswiping the misfits with
their cars knew that their kids were being asshole bullies and
stepped in to do something about it, like the parents of the
shooters were supposed to.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Melody (yes, I feel better, even though a lot of people will
think I'm an asshole for even thinking these thing.
A: I agree the funeral was a bit over the top. (What is up with all of
these funerals being on CNN???) However, I am glad that the one adult
in this thing got a little attention. We spent the entire week
listening to the kids stories and how sad it was that they died and
nothing about the teacher... like he was some afterthought.
All week I heard very little about the man. He is the one who
contributed more to this world then all those kids put together and will
be missed by more people (i.e. his family, 47 years worth of friends,
and the thousands of people he taught in his 25 years of teaching).
These kids had a hand full of people that knew them and most of the
~friends~ will be unable to remember their names in 20 years. Asshole? Not at all! To further defile the name of my ISP, let me chime in
with a resounding Me too! .
This trend of giving live nationwide coverage to funerals is bizarre at best.
What happened to the idea that a funeral was a very private time, and not an
occasion to be exploited by the media?
On second thought, I know the answer to that question. Can you say, "Princess
Diana," boys and girls? Sure you can. After all, the public has a right to
share in the occasion - uh-huh, ok, sure, whatever. I know that I want a
camera shoved in my face as I'm grieving for a loved one, just to satisfy the
morbid curiosity of the viewing public.