Can A Persons Occupation Turn You Right Off?

Q: absolutely bloody true, Drifter... what would that be, fifi? I'd guess at Scorpio... (we're a much maligned lot :) )

A: ." If you think that's funny, well I say strange sense of humour! " Yes it is isn't it..but never the less evidence of the existence of one.... That was my response to your saying you were wanting to enter the funeral industry when many of your other posts talk about starting a bed and breakfast.I often do the throw away lines in real life which are normally found quite humourous by people who don't take themselves too seriously. Having no fear is one of the main identifying markers of a Psychopath ..no fear at all. That is why they have even been used or experimented with in certain dangerous occupations. It's not a disgusting thing to say but rather a known fact especially Deco's correction. Even those with the assurance given by their belief in an after life still have some fear of death and dying. It is human to do so. The comment was not directed at you but rather the idea that the average person has no fear of death. As Malsie just talked about having faith does not insulate humans from fear of the unknown when actually faced with it. Some people are very frightened about the actual process, not to mention medical interventions. Very aged people are sometimes the ones most accepting and welcoming of death. They become too tired of living and reach a stage of actually wanting to go whatever it means. That is an age I wouldn't mind getting to. Why would you state that those in the medical profession have no fear of dying themselves just because they have counselled others or cared for them professionally? Jennifer, there are known stages and progressions for grief, and many a training course on death and dying and palliative care. If a person is too emotionally involved then they will not be helpful to the dying or grieving person. Workers involved in this area do have to put aside their own normal fears in order to assist. Assisting these people is not about converting them to your own beliefs in order to relieve or dispell the fears, but rather about rationalising fears and educating and supporting with trust, pain management, cultural and spiritual awareness as appropriate. It is about overcoming own fears and becoming very professional in order to talk about things that the average person doesn't want to be made conscious of. Sometimes it is about soothing platitudes until the person or their family can come to terms with things.Sometimes it is about relieving feelings of guilt when death comes as a relief to all concerned. There is a fairly predictable process. If you think it is all caring and sharing and serious business, then think again. The way many workers in these stressful fields de stress is to laugh and joke and make lots of questionable comments amongst themselves. Dying people do this too. It helps calm the fears. One of the last memories of my very dignified ,very private, yet mad Irish ,very humourous father, was helping him out of my car when he was too frail and weak and emaciated from cancer, but refusing to give up, and hearing his roar of laughter and seeing his twinkling blue eyes light up as his trousers dropped to the ground with the neighbours looking on! I had to pull them up and hold them up as we walked inside both cracking up. His main source of fear and mental torture was what would become of my mother, not a great concern and need for reassurance about for going into the hereafter or not and not the actual process of dying. As a (for many years) manager of a program caring for aged and terminally ill people and directly responsible for employing care staff, one of the main red flags was avoiding the too idealistic, helper types because there were too at risk of emotional burnout and damage to themselves. Just a hint as to why you may have been initially turned down. Being a caring, loving and community minded person as you no doubt are is a wonderful thing , but not always the type to be able to do certain jobs long term. Professionally , I have also seen and assisted many people through the stages of dying from diagnosis to death for about 35 years My current day to day work involves lots of grief counselling and palliative care support. The ability to cut off is an absolute necessity...and even then there are ones who stay with you forever for various reasons.

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