Big Wedding Ring Dilemma ?

Q: Before he proposed, we've been going out for 4 years, but we never discussed marriage, ring preferences, etc... we just avoided the topic... so he never knew about my yellow gold preference. I have nothing against white metals and I do wear silver jewelry at times, but for the *wedding* ring I always wanted yellow gold.... I know that sounds silly, but for some reason, white gold bands don't register in my mind as wedding bands... I thought of several alternatives: 1) Get a plain white gold band (even though I prefer yellow) to go with my engagement ring 2) Have the diamond from the engagement ring reset into the yellow gold setting, and get the yellow gold band that I like 3) Keep the engagement ring the way it is (white), get the yellow gold band, and wear the engagement ring on the right hand

A:There is a part of me that wants to say go with the sentimentality of it and forget the rest .... but you went "on and on" about it so ... that I think if you keep quiet about it now .... one day (maybe 10 years from now) during an argument, you will blurt out that he couldn't even get the ring right. Then he will know that you have been disappointed for over 10 years ... and it will definately put a strain on the relationship. (Been married almost 20 years ... I know how this can play out). So ... my advice is to be open honest with your feelings from the get go. He may be slightly disappointed now, but will appreciate your honesty ... IF you approach this correctly ... maybe in a timid sort of way. Something like, sweetie, I love this ring that you gave me but I always imagines myself getting married with a gold band and I don't think a gold wedding band will look good with this e-ring. I have been making myself sick over this and I was hoping we could figure out the best solution. Tell him the options you thought of and I am sure together the two of you will find a solution you can both be happy with. Maybe he can tell you why he got the silver ring. Maybe his reason will make you change your mind and you will want to keep it and get a silver wedding band. Maybe he will never thought about how the colors go togerher and didn't think about you guys not having matching bands. Maybe he truly wont mind that the ring you wear isn't the same ring. Maybe

you can get a gold band for the ceremony and wear that by itself and also et a silver band that matches and wear that with the e-ring sometimes. There is no rule that you have to wear the e-ring all the time. Get two rings, one white and the other yellow. Wear the yellow band when not wearing your e-ring, such as when working. Wear the white band with the e-ring, perhaps for special occassions, or just on alternate days ;) Of course this won't work if you are sentimental about never removing the band, but I think it is a good solution to having your cake and eating it too. You get the plain yellow band of your dreams, and a ring to go with your e-ring.