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Q: my Great Aunt called late yesterday and angrily said that her bank had just called and told her that my husband had been taking money out of her bank account. She wouldn't give any details and just kept shouting that I should call and ask them. Obviously no such thing happened, and he's going down to the bank today to find out if anyone called and what the problem is if they did. I suspect that a check she wrote him a couple weeks ago for $35 bounced, but we'll know more later. The problem now is she won't speak to either one of us. Everything else she forgets within the hour. This, she remembers. I suggested we talk to her doctor about it when we go. She said she's not going to that doctor any more, and that she had a new doctor. T I don't think I can deal with this. I'm wondering if everyone would be better off if I just let the state step in and do whatever it does. She's been suspicious of everything her whole life, and once she gets something like that stuck in her head, nothing gets it out. I may try giving the Dept of Elder Affairs a call, and make sure her landlords have my number, but I can't just break down the door and drag her out, kicking and screaming. She needs to cooperate at least a little. And she won't. And I just can't deal with the false accusations and being treated like a thief. Any suggestion???
A: If you won't see an attorney, at least do some serious research about medicaid/medicare and start filling out the forms. Get a handle on her finances. Invoke that power of attorney (and make sure you also have the power for medical decisions). Put your teflon coat on. She does not know what she is saying. You cannot take the rantings and the insults personally. I know that is hard - but it really is like having a preschooler yell " I hate you, you poo-poo head!!" at you. I'm also suspecting sweetness and light in person would be better than phoning her. Like I said before in a previous post, be as sneaky as you need to be - don't confront and argue. Be charming and slippery!!! Use humor. Use whatever you've got in your toolbox right up to bribes, and little presents.
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