Vintage Wedding Jewelry
Q: I would have been honored to have a ring from my husband's family. A
ring with some history. Mine was bought new, but several of my cousins
have used diamonds from rings that their grandmothers and
great-grandmothers owned. Some have used the entire ring and others
have had rings designed around the "vintage" stones.
Any help?
A:The custom with engagement and wedding rings is to wear them all the time
for the rest of your life (or at least for the duration of the marriage).
If your girlfriend loves the ring, she will be happy to wear it so often.
If she doesn't, whenever it catches her eye she may feel disappointed, even
though she is happily married.
(I've been happily married all my adult life. I actually don't want to wear
_any_ ring all the time, and neither does my husband, so we agreed that
neither of us would wear wedding or engagement rings. This has never caused
any problems, either between us or socially. My husband has given me
several nice rings over the years for birthdays and Christmas, which have
memories attached, but none of them are wedding or engagement rings.)
Anyway--in order to sell rings, gowns, flowers, cakes, dishes, linens, hotel
rentals, and a myriad of other things, the wedding industry has pumped up
the bride's selection of these items into a REALLY BIG DEAL. Some women, if
they have the time and money, spend an entire year shopping for their
weddings. In fact, some become obnoxious and temperamental about "their
day," insisting that everyone (including the groom) do whatever they want
not only at the wedding but for months beforehand. I hope your girlfriend
is more mature. But even so the days when the man bought (or inherited) the
ring by himself and the woman was thrilled to get it no matter what it
looked like, are over. (I've been in jewelry stores where female customers
were shopping for the rings by themselves or with their mothers, telling the
clerk they planned to buy and stick the fiance with the bill later.)
In other words your girlfriend will expect to have some say in choosing the
ring. If she's shopped around and your mother's ring is still her favorite,
then maybe that's the one for her to wear. Overall, though, I think the
safest thing would be for you and her to shop