Turned Down Again??
Q: I just received my SSDI turn down again. I have an attorney and my "reconsideration' was refused. I now have to ask for a hearing which probably won't be until September or October. I have been going for physical therapy and occupational therapy for my arthritis and fibromyalgia. I go three times a week. My divorce lawyer is dropping me because I have no money to pay him (although I already gave him $750), he says he can't find any more reasons to "stall" the divorce until I get on disability. My husband filed last July..and I am currently living on spousal support ($171 a week)and I am still covered under his companies medical insurance (for now)...and my rent is $400. My attorney has said that I should get a Pro Bono lawyer ..but for now I should just sit on it!! I fear that a Pro Bono lawyer won't work as hard for me...my husband stole my car last Fall and my attorney got it back...now I am worried that my husband will start pulling these stunts again. I am so discouraged. I am losing my will to live....I have been still battling constipation and almost went to the ER on Wednesday night with an obstruction. I took Per Diem, a stool softener, a laxative, everything.....I was up all night in pain....my rectum was bulging down..but the stool wouldn't come out!! And I was in terrible aching pain with it.....At 6:30 am....I finally "went"!! I had diarrhea for 25 years...and I can honestly say that I prefer it over this constipation!!! My doctor says I have a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries and that could be causing all this constipation...and I may need surgery again. I see my gastro doc on the 28th. I know I probably should have called him...but I get so sick and tired of calling . If I called every time I didn't feel good, or had problems with my crohns...heck ...they would stop answering the phone! I am very discouraged.....I live alone and I only go out to physical therapy these days....other than that...I rarely leave the house, get dressed....or get off the couch!!! I wish I knew the answers!!! I am so scared...and I question every decision I have ever made!!! Maybe I should have stayed in that awful marriage??? I fear ending up homeless,....I was married for 31 years....I left him 2 years ago...determined to make it on my own!!! What a joke!!! I can't stay well enough ....long enough...to sustain employment!! Any advice???
A: -I am having the same battles with SSI , I gave up last year when I was turned down but my psychologist urged me to try again and not to give up. Can you tell me what their reasons were for denying you? I was denied because I had not lost enough weight. Its so frustrating. I have spent most of my life trying to pretend I am not sick and battling for disability goes against everything I've spent the last 20 years doing. But I have 5 kids and I have to humble myself and try try again. I know the depression you're feeling, I am there alot too, Can't tell you how many times I've almost taken an overdose because I honestly believed I would be relieving people around me of me being a burden. But there is the occasional day when I can get out of bed and I can play with my kids and those are the days that get me through. I went through a divorce 2 years ago,, he was abusive and had hurt our daughter. That pain takes a long time to get through but it does get a little easier with time. If you would like to vent feel free to email me, ((HUGS)) hang in there, things have to get better. -Sorry - I know it's a long quote - but the point I want to make is - maybe 2 or 3... 1. You are not alone - we are here, some have been there and others have yet to be but talk to us - and we will help as much as we can - brainstorming etc. maybe I can't think of the right thing but between us...hell hath no fury... 2. What part of the country do you live as there are support groups available for the divorce and just about almost anything.