Illinois Divorce Question & Custody Issue???
Q: We would appreciate any advice or direction anyone could share with us here. I have a very close friend I've know for a long time who lives in Illinios. She has 3 children from the marraige being disolved here. Her husband has had a history of abuse towards her and has been very controlling, both physically and emotionally over her. They have been married for about 10 years. She has been going through the divorce proceedings for about 1 year now, and is not trying to get anything from the divorce other than custody of the 3 small children, ages from 3 years to 8 years. She is a very independant and hard working woman, and has no difficulties supporting the kids, and provides a very loving and safe home for her children. Now, just the other day, her husband has told her he will do whatever he can do to keep her from moving out of state with the kids after the divorce becomes final. She was considerring moving to California with the kids once the whole thing is through, but her husband seems to be doing all he can to scare her and use the children to keep her close to him. On top of all this, he has had people threaten her, and follow her. Even has had someone come into her home and try to scare her. He has plenty of money and unsavory friends and is doing all he can do to make her life hard and uncomfortable while this is all still going through. We are trying to find some resources about child custody and the laws on divorce in Illinois. We are beginning to fear for her safety and she is convinced that if she does anything that will upset him, he will use physical force against her. I know that there are laws that are supposed to protect women and children in these cases, but we would very much like to here from anyone who would have any suggestions at all as to where we could find assistsance or information in these very difficult times. This has us, both family and friends very concerned and would welcome any constructive help.
A: This sounds more and more like a *real* problem and less and less like a case of "Malevolent Mom". BTW, if at first I came across as having a pro-Dad agenda, I do apologize. I try to avoid this, but it is unfortunately true IMO that the family court systems in most parts of the country are more-or-less biased in favor of moms, and *against* dads. The unfortunate result is that *far* too many women abuse the system. In this case, it sounds to me as though your friend needs, at the very least, legal counsel that she can feel is actually independent, and is really *her* counsel. In theory, if the lawyer who is representing her is ethical, the fact that her s2bx is paying his bills should be immaterial. If it was me, I wouldn't count on it, though. I'd want to *know* that lawyer pretty well, and have reason to *believe* that his advice was actually intended to be in my own best interests. So, did she select this lawyer herself? Or did hubby select him/her? If it's the latter, I'd find some way to switch lawyers. By the way, it's my understanding (and I'm NOT a lawyer) that the same person cannot represent both parties in any sort of contested litigation. So if hubby has a lawyer, it certainly should be some *other* lawyer, and not the one that is representing your friend. I don't know what the situation is in Illinois, but in Texas, because it's a community property state, a spouse can retain a lawyer virtually without