Falsely Charged With Sexual Harrassment At Work
Q: I've had major depression and anxiety disorder for 6+ years now. I am
usually stable enough to do the daily stuff, like going to work, but
work has been becoming a worse and worse place for 8-9 years now and a
lot of the stress (although there are other personal factors) keep
fueling my depression. This isn't just my opinion; it is almost
everyone who has worked there more than a few years
I'm a middle-age gay male (about as sexually appealing as a dead, wet
rat) who was friends with a 19-year old, straight(?) male (call him
"Marty") in our department at work, which is part of our local
goverment services.
Marty had been working part-time there for 11 months (I rarely saw him
as our schedules were at almost totally different times) who started
in mid-summer to befriend *me* even though originally I tried to get
him to leave me alone. I am Mr. Old, Dumpy, and Depressed and he is
Mr. Young, Cute, and Cheerful with a Girlfriend and is Terrified
People Might Think He Is Gay. LIKE I NEED THIS?.
A: Don't take offense where none is meant. I didn't say I hoped you were not grossly to blame. I said I hope it can be SHOWN that you were not. I didn't say "fraternization with subordinates" (my parenthyses) was bad or doesn't happen, but it's problematic and therefore something to avoid, especially since you're already in a persecuted group, and you indicate someone has a personal grudge against you. And whether the deed was done or not does not keep there from being an attempt at fraternization, or indicate that the harrassment didn't happen (any "harrassment" would be a precursor). So it's the approach, not the culmination which is to be avoided. And I did not say that it would not have been a problem with 2 "straight" people. It MIGHT not have, though I