Disability Harassment By Teacher ??

Q: My son had a similar experience, he has a physical disability, as well as ADHD. He had difficulties with a couple of his teachers, and I approached the school with my concerns. The teacher did back off, but my son still had some social troubles with the other children. That only changed when one particularly antagonistic boy left. The social struggles persist for him, but to a lesser degree now. I actually didn't pursue it any further than the school and the principal, but rather took the opportunity to educate my son about the ignorance of others. I told him that he would encounter this often, which I'm sure he will, and preferred to teach him that it wasn't about him, but rather about the teacher, who obviously had the problem. I also encouraged my son to consider how stressful it was for the teacher to be dealing with the number of children he was, and to consider that the teacher wasn't dealing with stress in a healthy way. In short, I managed to convince my son, that it was a situational thing, rather than anything to do with him personally. can you give me advice?

A: I don't know what resources may be available to you, but you might consider looking for a support/social group made up of other ADHD boys or look for a social skills training group. My local elementary school used to have a group created by the school's psychologist made up of boys who, while they didn't necessarily all have an ADHD diagnosis, had trouble making friends with their classmates. The group met to engage in activities, like play board games, which could also help develop social skills. Just so the group wouldn't be considered the "dork" group, the psychologist always made sure that some of the class's more popular boys were included in group activities. I am also seeing more and more counseling or tutoring services in my area advertising "social skills training" programs for children with ADHD, Asperger syndrome, or non-verbal learning disabilities and others who have problem with social skills development. If you can't find an already organized group, perhaps you can find moms of one or two other boys who also have social skills problems like your son does and plan some activities for all of you. Your solution was perhaps the best one for your son, but besides talking to my son as you did, I think I also would have filed a complaint with the appropriate school authorities. The drawback to your solution is that it doesn't let the school know it has a problem teacher who will perhaps engage in

the same abusive behavior with student after student, year after year, until some parent finally does complain. Then the school authorities will say, "But, but...that teacher has been teaching for *years,* and we've never had a single complaint!" And, then, the authorities may well suspect the "problem" lies with this particular complaining parent or the child and not with the teacher. However, if every parent of every child who has been abused by the teacher complains, the school may take appropriate action and make sure that that teacher's behavior won't be inflicted upon successive classes of her students. If nothing more, the school won't be able to say, "We didn't know."