Conflict Management - How To? Any Training From You ?

Q: Conflict Management - how to? any training from you ? I wonder if the members can help me with a group problem which I am involved in as an outside facilitator. THE GROUP is an eight-member Student Council at a University; THE PROBLEM is that there are personality clashes and various other types of con flicts between the members (this is inevitable at this time of year, but this is one of the wor se cases); THE SETTING is a weekend away (2/3 March 1996) which they have all agreed to go on to discuss these differences in order to come up with a better working relationship. While I hope that some of the solutions which will emerge will include running a role-definition intervention, setting more concrete goals, etc, I am interested in how you would suggest I run the initial "group therapy session" in order to manage the c onflict positively.

A:-I usually recommned that participants not discuss differences since this will only rehash the past. I use a process by which I future the successful group interactions. For example, it is 2 months in the future, you all have been very successful in what you do as a team, what does that successful team look like? How are you interacting? How do you communicate? How do you address conflicts? What do the members of the team say about the team? etc. This allows the group to focus on the future instead of the past. In addition, it allows the group to see that, for the most part, they have common ideas about the future of the team. BTW, if you also ask the team to identify what it looks like to successfully complete the charter of the council, you might also be able to get everyone to agree the direction of the council. Follow that up with a question about what the group absolutely needs to do to reach the success defined (critical success factors), and you will move the group towards action and a future/solution focus. I then use the Innovator group decision support system to prioritize the issues. -Just wondering what your desired outcome is for the weekend? My ideas are from the outcome perspective of building communications skills to use conflict to reach positive results. Our approach would be to first have people understand the conflict handling modes. We use Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode. With this foundation, then focus on each participant's communication style in achieving a balance between their personal position and the organizations goals. The other important piece is to create an understanding of the other person's position. We use a variety of self-directed learning instruments for these 2 parts. Usually with some "ahas" at these 2 junctures this is a natural lead in for the how to's of demonstrating understanding using basic communication principles -- listening, feedback, etc. Getting people involved with practice and feedback throughout the process is about 70% of it for us. -My experience with students, being one myself at the moment, is that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Having learned things that open up new worlds, many student believe that they actually know something, and act as if their new knowledge is ultimate truth. (a bit of an exageration, but you get the idea i hope.) So conflict can arise as people defend their hard won knowledge of what is right or wrong, or even what the truth is on any given issue. i am currently attempting to use a form of dialogue to help uncover how our assumptions about reality tend to

solidify and are acted on as facts rather than as assumptions. There is a set of four archives on this list involving dialogue that provide some great info on the theory behind dialogue and how to implement it. There are also a couple of articles in the fall 93 issue of Organizational Dynamics on how the process has gone with the MIT group involved in a dialogue project. (This group is part of Peter Senge's associates) My feelings are that by creating a space where people can examine the nature of their beliefs, ie. where they arise from and how they are shaped, things can go beyond the personal level to deal with issues more clearly. hope this might be of some help.