The only individual who seemed even rational, imo, was Ron Paul, in the rare moments when a question was tossed his way. I was actually even starting to feel sorry for Huckabee who complained, at one point, "I kinda wish I was here tonight."

As for the front runners....! Those are front runners???

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

that's POOL, you MENTAL PATIENT

here's the rest of the mclunatic story from last night's debate: remember biden saying that all rudy's sentences contained "a noun a verb and 9/11" well mccain was a nutty nut candidate who's nuts all night last night he was tired he was testy he's broke he's old he's unhealthy-looking facing, if the crazies authorize it which it says here they won't, potentially an entire general election campaign to go

and here's why they won't:

"i and only i am qualified to be america's commander in chief, a constitutionally-mandated civil position, sure, not a military one, but damn the technical torpedoes full, speed ahead's the navy way . . . my lack of ever having held a single job in the private sector, you say? ok, mister rich with funny underwear missionary-boy, you wanna piece a me? and after i kick your mormon ass, i'll put it to work on that . . . yeah . . . you're feelin me

my friends, i've devoted my entire life to the cause of killing, first to the cause of killing cuban communists, then to that of killing vietnamese communists, for the communists before them, i tried but was a mere boy and the country wouldn't let me kill yet on its behalf and, later, so what if i lost an aircraft doing my part, you people didn't have the balls to go and so i did your killing for you NOW YOU OWE ME!

i was held in captivity by the then-enemies of this country, and i suffered under actual chinese water torture, i saw first-hand what happens when a power dispenses with the inconvenience of the geneva conventions, so i served, then i suffered all of this so that your narrow lil asses could attend psych 101 classes, learn about the wall of bricks made of pain and mortar made of tears, then my little lord fauntleroy opponent here could go hopscotching around the globe in funny underwear big whup

that's right, governor, while you prayed i was registered in plain sight at the hanoi hilton
WHERE WAS YOUR GOD THEN, GUV!/?

but, my friends, i am not bitter, my country gained my release, and since then i've continued to serve it with honor and with all my heart and all my mind and all my soul if, in a personally softer, certainly no less hard way at least in the eyes of the enemies i voted to authorize the killing of on your behalves--and so you owe me

true enough, if the voters'd'a had any guts back in my midshipmen-salad days, they'd'a elected a previous senator from my arid state, the late, great senator goldwater, a man of true foresight and commitment against any enemy of our homeland, and there wouldn't'a been any continent of asia for us to have to fuck with to the tune of 58,000 american boys' lives . . . and my goddam achin jaw

or, even if the politicians they did elect'd'a had any guts as forward-looking neocon republicans like myself they'd'a brought back a doug mcarthur for shock-n-awe--i was, my friends, WAY before my time with powell doctrines of overwhelming force and a clear exit strategy--easy: you kill them all then split--and shock-n-awe, as i was with, truly, my and general petraeus' strategy of S U R G E which by the way is properly spelled
E S C A L A T I O N-- ever swingin chink dick across asia

well, my friends, that didn't happen and eventually because our citizens mau-maued our creampuff commander in chief at the time, this great country, which i seek to humbly serve as its killer commander in chief, had to settle for peace with no goddam honor are you feelin me yet, mitt-the-twit!

for which error i, as your killer commander in chief, mean fully to atone

so give me a shot at the title, god knows i've paid in full . . . you owe me

no, of course i can't talk in detail about my plans to apply against the asymetrical enemy of today--the radical islamic terrorists, and the unknown enemies after them that we don't even know we don't know about though we do know that they will be evil and hydra-headed--a commander in chief doesn't telegraph his shock-n-awe or covert ordinance tactical punches with timetables or timelines like little lord fauntleroy funny underwear boy here alluded in "code"--i have the transcript--you just roll em out slim-pickens style, you go for broke, my friends, and let the blitzkreig rage till the bodies stink

and this is the charge i'll keep if you allow me to serve and protect you as commander in chief this one, indivisible country under a judeao-christian god, by god

now, my friends, i ask that you ask not what your country can do for you, and i say that you'd better hope your fellow americans can spare for the needy among us a dime from time to time because when i get to 1600 pennsylvania avenue and swivel my ass in the buck-stopping chair, i mean to drain in favor of the military industrial complex every penny that is left in our treasury and them some--the hell with it, ike be damned!--with both sleeves rolled up

and quite frankly, my friends, while funnytrunx romney can't imagine bill clinton running around for four years in the white house with nothing to do, i can't imagine the rush, the, well, the surge i'll feel thinking about then committing your children endlessly to killing all around the globe and in perpetuity, as your commander in chief

having served, hell, trick-fucked and chaired armed services and foreign relations committees subcommittes and all and sundry apothecaries of do-nothingness here in washington concerning EVERY major security or military decision made by our anyone in government or the military since i came to washington, i know how to activate NORAD with strong letter to follow

in fact, i got moves, secret plans and clever trix for the budgetarily imbalanced financing of worldwide swamp-drainings that nobody's even seen before, my friends!

but back to my backstory . . . after having been first captured, then released back to the homeland and finally cachiered out for being an overly agressive teenage-like asshole whom even the navy couldn't tolerate, generated a cancerous tumor which caused me to grow a second--but no worries, it has no brain--head, while i may have stopped personally killing communists, i at least voted for the next 20 years to kill any and all of them that could be located throughout the world

so, i voted to kill communists of every stripe not the least of whom were russians in--wait for it--afghanistan, just as i myself had killed vietnamese communists, and just as my father before me had killed korean communists, just as his father before him had killed whatever other kind of "ists" our government could find to villify so as to fund the uniformed addiction of our family's inveterate homicidal hatred and revenge for humans whose wills wouldn't bend at the pleasure of the great american way

and since the horrible tragedy of 9/11--where radical islamic terrorists inflicted the cowardly (because it cost the lives of americans, as opposed to russian communists) attacks on our innocent and unsuspecting 3,000, all of whom no doubt worshiped in the judeao-christian but not the muslim tradition in this great and tolerant nation i seek to lead as the only candidate qualified to serve as its commander in chief--with which neither saddam hussein indeed any iraqi had anything whatever to do, nor who, as has since been confirmed by worldwide intelligence acclamation, possessed weapons of any, much less mass destructive, power, but my friends, let me take a momentary detour concerning WMD:

SADDAM TRULY DID HAVE WMD, HE'D SIMPLY HIDDEN THEM . . . IN SYRIA! YES! EXACTLY LIKE . . . THE FLY! BUT, MORE TO THE POINT, IT IS ONLY I WHO KNOWS PRECISELY WHERE HE HID THEM AND THUS IT IS ONLY I WHO AM QUALIFIED TO SERVE AS YOUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF SO THAT YOU CAN BE SAFE WHILE I SET ABOUT THE KILLING OF THE RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISTS IN WHOSE CHARGE THEY'RE SECRETLY KEPT FOR FUTURE USE AGAINST--WAIT FOR IT--OUR WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

SO SEND ME THERE, SEND ME NOW, SEND ME TONIGHT, YES, MY FRIENDS, LET ME DEPART THIS PITTER PATTER BANTERING AND SALLY FORTH UNDER THE BANNER OF THE STARS THE STRIPES THE SWORD GIVE ME MY GODDAM SIDE-ARM, SIR! SO THAT I CAN SET BATTLEFIELD CAULDRONS TO BOIL AND BUBBLE SO THAT I MAY ON YOUR BEHALF AND FOR AMERICA'S FUTURE SAFETY TOIL, FOR RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISTS OF THE FUTURE PLAN AS WE SPEAK TO MAKE TROUBLE

I DA MAN DA MAN WITH THE HUNNERD YEAR PLAN WE FEW WE HAPPY FEW WE BAND OF LUNATICS!

AS YOUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF, MY FRIENDS, ONLY I HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO PLANT OUR FLAG AND COMMIT FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS CENTURY OUR FINEST YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN "OVER THERE" . . . I"LL RAISE THEIR PAY!

THOUGH I MYSELF MAY BE HALF PAST SANITY AS WELL AS SEVENTY--AND TONIGHT HAVE BEEN IGNOMINIOUSLY REQUIRED AT THE DOOR OF THIS SILLY TALKATHON--HERE IN THE REVERED RONALD REAGAN LIBRARY BEHIND THE MAGNIFICENT AND PATRIOTIC BACKDROP OF HIS NOBLE STEED, A RETIRED AIR FORCE ONE--TO SURRENDER BOTH MY GOVERNMENT-ISSUE .45 CALIBER SIDEARM AS WELL AS MOBILE HAND-GRENADE FANNY PACK, AND THOUGH I AM A TRUE AMERICAN HERO, A HERO WHO CANNOT TO THIS DAY DUE TO UNUTTERABLE ATROCITIES INFLICTED ON ME BY PREVIOUS ENEMIES (FOR WHICH YOU OWE ME), BUT ENEMY CONSCRIPTS WHO ADHERED TO NO MORE VILE A CREED THAN THAT OF TODAY'S RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISTS WHO THREATEN US NOW, AND OUR WOMEN, AND OUR CHILDREN AND EVEN OUR GRANDCHILDREN, RAISE EITHER ARM, AND FROM WHOSE JAW CARCINOGENS LEAK AS WE SPEAK RIGHT ONTO THIS RIDICULOUS SECOND GRADER'S DESK THEY'VE TETHERED ME TO, THE MEMORIES OF WHICH TAKE ME BACK TO, YOU KNOW, AND SO YOU OWE ME, I WILL FIND THEM, MY FRIENDS, IF YOU WILL EMPOWER ME . . . I WILL KILL ANY "IST" AMONG THEM IN THIS WORLD OR IN ANY OTHER I WILL FIND THEM MY FRIENDS AND SADDAM'S WMD I'LL FIND FIRST IN MY EXODUS FROM HERE TO THE DESERT SANDS OF SYRIA BENEATH WHICH THEY ARE I HAVE INTELLIGENCE OF THE HIGHEST CONFIDENCE IN HIDING

i pledge to you this night that just as i have voted to kill and conquer from sea to shining sea in paroxisms of homicide and destruction the entire intended caliphate of radical islamic terrorists--men, women and children alike--for the koran is an evil, evil book and their killers wear no uniform, and because of that i say, my friends, that the military code of justice and the constitutional power soon to be granted to me by the constitution shall authorize me as your commander in chief to even to scalp and eat them on the killing fields after our battlefield victory over them

on those battlefields, we will raise the black flag, we will take no quarter, we will not capture but rather kill, they being, as they are, killing, not capturing fields, so there'll be no abu ghraib or guantanamo embarrassments on this KILLER commander in chief's watch . . . for they, the radical islamic terrorists, are the biggest threat we face, they are the biggest threat we will face and we will face it for the rest of the 21st century and perhaps for the next millennium, but at the end of those 365,000 (fauntleroy, you do math, so do the math on that) days, we will have peace we will have honor because we will have won they'll all be dead . . . then we can get back to the business of fucking up those pricks in hanoi who jacked my jaw sideways

EGADS, MODERATOR! check quickly the underside of your chair, i believe i can see one from here, yes, right directly underneath you, a turban, the curved blade, an al jezeera microphone attached to his burkha quick, mandrake, mysentry! my sidearm back, i'll handle this!

curtain on debate comes down to the anthem of we'll meet again don't know where don't know when

I did inhale.